Day 31 - thank you Mary. So I am still gamble free and I have just looked at my online bank and I am not overdrawn!! Normally I would be by now. I feel so much better then I have been recently. I watched the FA cup final in the pub and a bloke had put £10 on Walcott first goal arsenal 3 nil. His face when they scored the 4th with 8 secs remaining reminded me how horrible it is to lose a bet, I never want to feel this way again
Day 32 passed without gambling. I didn't even come close to going to one of the horrible places. But my guard remains up today. I am hoping to be able to transfer one of my credit cards to 0% today, this would be a step in the right direction, I also still have money in the bank and not overdrawn, this is amazing. I know my fight will be for ever against this horrible addiction, but I will do my best to knock it out
Day 33- no gambling but I did feel down all day, with no focus on my work. Today day 34 I feel extremely tired, and I think I will call into work sick and spend the day in bed. I believe this tiredness is some form of stress in me, and I need to sort this out. NT thank you for your post, I agree it was and is always borrowed money when we win, as we always give it back with interest, that's what we do. I will report again later, but I promise I will not gamble today
Now that's better than getting us to wish you luck 🙂 We each hold the key to beating our demons & only we can knock them out!
Thanks for dropping by 🙂
I hope you manage some quality sleep & awake feeling calm & alert!
Keep winning - ODAAT
Day 34 - over and not gambled. I spent most of the day in bed sleeping and now I am back in bed. I feel loads better then I did this morning, maybe I was just tired and not depressed??? Working away tomorrow night, so shouldn't have a chance to gamble as I have a colleague with me. I also don't want to, so hopefully by the time I get home I will be 36 days clean. Night all
Day 35 or 5 weeks!! - I still feel tired, but I genuinely believe it's not stress related, more just too many late nights. But I am working away tonight staying in a hotel so I have a chance to go to bed early if I want too. I am with a colleague, so this means no gambling for sure. I have also left my cash point card with my wife to avoid temptation, I only have my company credit card with me to pay for hotel and food. I am definitely in a better place then I was 5 weeks ago, and the 5 weeks have passed very quickly, I still need to self exclude from the casino I have signed up to as my brother ( he would kill me if he knew I borrowed his driving licence and joined as him) but I am worried about going there to do it , as I may get sucked back in. I really need to build the courage to do it, but I need to go there with nothing, no wallet or I know what will happen. There is one particular machine that sucks me in, it has the bangles music walk like an Egyptian, it is a rubbish frustrating machine, but that is the machine that made me want to go back to the casino, nothing else. Now I must remember the recent days of walking out of there having blown £2000 maxed out all cards and feeling s**t about myself, I can't let this happen again. All I was ever doing was chasing the feature, then calling the machine a C@nt as it only gave me 3 spins with a 1 x multi win. But as all gamblers do, I would say to myself it's ok, it now owes me, it will get me in again and make up for it!!! Yeah right, time and time again this would happen and I truely believed it would make up for it!! How crazy are we ? Going back to what I said a few days ago, I get emotionally attached to things, FBOT being one of them. I honestly believed it would always make up for my losses, because we were emotionally attached!!!! Sat here now I feel so stupid, as I know this will never happen. Right rant over I need to go to work, have a great gamble free day people
Day 35 is over and I have beat the demon again today and not gambled. Night all see you all tomorrow for another battle with the devil?!!!
Day 36 - been a good day so far today, not thought about it one bit. Been busy at an exhibition at work, which was interesting to say the least, just spent the day people watching!!! Off out tonight to play football with some mates, so should be a good finish to a gamble free day. I have a weekend planned with my family so there as per usual will be no chance to gamble, so looking forward to being 38 days gamble free come Monday. Have a great gamble free weekend all
Days 37 and 38 done without a gamble. As predicted i was with family all weekend so no chance even if I wanted to, which always makes things easier for me.
Day 39 - I have been thinking about the triangle formula of Time-Money-location, so if one of these does not exsist you are unable to gamble. For me I have always been able to get money (loans, credit cards etc) there are so many locations to gamble nearby (Casinos, bookies etc) and then time. For me this is my problem, time. I work form home and I do not really ever have to report to my manager what I am doing, they just check my outlook calander and beleive me if i say i am somewhere. So i wonder if i had a different job, where i was stuck in an office all day would I gamble as much as i did ? Truth is i would have most proberly just gambled online, as opposed to sitting in a casino or bookies all day. Its an interesting theory though, so we can get someone to look after our finances (my wife) we can self exclude form all local bookies etc, then we need to fill the time with something else. For me it will be kids and work, but i really need to also work on my fitness so this will be the answer.
Sorry to waffle it, just nice and relaxing to come on here and write whatever is in my mind !
Have a gamble free safe all, and enjoy the sunshine
Day 40 - gamble free !!! day 41 is just beginning. Nothing really to report apart from major mood swings and an urge to start smoking again. I gave up last October, but it's like curb one addiction and need to start another, very strange. Keeping myself busy with work and famy stuff, today I am off to work in Cardiff so hopefully I will continue to be strong.
41 days of abstaining and maintaining is great going Dave, even more so with you having given up the cigs, be very proud and keep going.
Suzanne xxx
Day 41 - I am happy to say I have now completed 41 days gamble free. Tomorrow will be 6 weeks. Apart from my wife being in a mood, things were easy today. I read back through my diary from the last time I stopped and into on lots about how grumpy my wife is, and again this time I have noticed again she is always unhappy, is this due to me? Who knows, I don't think I will ever be able to read her to be honest! Anyway this is the past would be a trigger for me to make an excuse to get out the house, but not anymore instead I will just keep my mouth shut and watch TV !! If and when she wants to tell me why she is grumpy I will listen. Keep going guys, it's the only way to win
Sorry Suzanne I forgot to thank you for your post, it always makes me happy when people leave me a post!
No worries Dave, maybe your wife is grumpy cos she is worried about you, with stopping smoking as well, she may think you could explode at any time, lol, don't forget they go through hell too with this gambling addiction, just a thought.
Keep strong and look after you but don't forget to look after your OH that is just as important.
Suzanne xxx
Thank you again Suzanne, reading your post first thing this morning has put me in a very positive mood today!! Day 42 will be a gamble free day and will be 6 weeks since my last gamble
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