Was ВЈ50k, now £14k in debt May 1st 2015 day one

Alrite Dave, just read your diary, great read some good witty comments. My life is very similar to your own, fantasising about big gambling wins for most of the day, hitting a big lucky 15 etc. Well not anymore, ive given the robbing barstewards enough of my hard earned wonga, time to quit now. Carying little cash around is a great idea, stops the urges etc, keep it up mate

Keano thanks for the nice comment, its good to know people are reading my rubbish!! I am just typing what comes into my head first, and as you can read my mind goes hot and cold. Its strange as I beleive it must be the part of the addiction, that you have no focus in life, no goals, just survival in trying to get anothner 50 pounds to waste away. I have read some other peoples diarys on here I a see time and time again about how much time we all have now we do not gamble, and its soooo true. Its very similar to life before children, what did we do before kids with all the spare time we had ? So this is anothner thing we all need to do is fill that time, and going back to what I said yesterday I felt low in my body, now I think I was low as I was bored and needed something to fill my time. I did not need good news to cheer me up, I just needed someone to phoneand ask me to help them, or the wife to say she needed some shopping anything just to occupy my mind and time. So I am going to sign up to a local gym when I get paid, and everytime I feel low or bored I will head off to the gym and fill my time. I have let meself go over the last 3 years, I used to play football and go running and now I do nothing, so maybe this will give me the focus I need.

Anyway I came on here to say DAY 17 has been rinsed!!! so heres to day 18, you will not beat me, as I am now very strong and focused to beat you

As always stay focused and stay strong my Gamcare friends, together we can do this

Day 18 is over and done with!!

Still not feeling good, or shall I say not feeling 100%, but I am hoping to get there soon. I have also not drunk since new years eve and I am wondering if this is why I feel slighty down as I have nothing to look forward to at present (Usaully have 3 or 4 drinks on a weekend just to chill out). So tomorrow night I will be drinking for the first time in 2011!! Should be nice, and I am hoping it will make me feel slightly better about myself. It may not but anything is worth a try at present, I just feel like I am going to explode at any min, and I cannot stop throwning, infact I have just remembered something I read last week if you are feeling down bite on a pen and it makes you mouth go into the smile position, this then releases something in your body to make you feel better, so red pen in my mouth to see if it works!! Well I have to say it does stop you from throwning and relaxes you, so I will be eating this pen all night now!!

Take care all and love you loved ones

Day 19 tomorrow will be beat by me

well done you.... day 19 is fab....

i'm 2 weeks tom!! woohoo

have never heard of the pen thing..... but will give it a go!!! the thought of it alone is making me smile¬!!!!

all the best dave...

jen

ps dont swallow it and choke!!!!

Thanks Jen I had it in my mouth for about 35 mins it seems to have done the trick!!!

did you try it ?

Day 20 DONE!!!

This is a milestone for me to hit 20 days and I have done it, I am so proud of myself right now!!! I was on a sales trianing course last year and the guy taking it was telling us it takes 21 days to break a habit, well I am 21 days tomorrow and it sounds strange but I actually feel I have broke the habit of trying to get money and then trying to find time to go and waste it!! so maybe he is right it does take 21 days to break a habit. This does not mean I have broke my addiction, but the habit part of the addiction maybe ?? I have never thought of it like this before, but maybe you do need to break the habit before you can fight the addiction, I would like you guys who read this to let me know your feelings on this.

So I got paid today my months wages, and when I read back to when I started this diary I was worried I would not be able to do the month, as I had blown all my money, well guess what I have!! so this is now where I am now going to start sorting out debt, and pay things back that I owe. There is a real sense of satisfaction in doing it, but it will take a long time!!

I did go out last night and got drunk, I needed to do that as I was really feeling stressed and that helped me feel loads better (Today I have a hangover!!)

day 21 tomorrow will have its own challanges but hopefully I will ride them and succeed again.

Happy obstaining to all of you ex gamblers out there !!

Day 21 begins

I feel really positive about today and I thought I would share that with you. Also I have a plan today, to start paying off debt and it goes like this

1) Pay mum back what I owe her (Done already via bank transfer)

2) Pay barclaycard - completed

3) Pay off payday loan cheques - completed

4) Pay wife what I owe her - completed

5) Try and fit some work in amongst this!! But I ned to pay what I owe, as it gives me a real sense of moving forward.

I will report back later peeps

Day 21 is OVER!!!

Seriously good day today on alot of fronts. My wages went in the bank today and I had my annual bonus which allowed me to start paying off some of my debts (barely touched the sides, but made me feel great)

To do this I had to walk down from Lloyds bank to Barclays bank, then back up to a well kwon payday loan shop. I first had to walk down Broadmead high st in Bristol carrying 800 pounds to go to payday loan shop (If you know this area its not he best of areas!!) so was s******g myself just in case someone tried knicking my brown envelope stuffed with 20 pound notes, managed though to make it there and pay it off, I also had to walk past 3 bookies (which I would normally stop at) to do this. On my way down I did stop and take a look through the window, just to see what I have left behind, and I can assure you everyone in there was unhappy, looked stressed and really really P***** off!! in fact it reminded me of Moes bar in the Simpsons!! I then had to go back to Lloyds to get cash to pay off barclaycard as they will not let you pay off more then 5 grand over the phone, but lloyds charge 30 pounds for a cheque, so I decided to withdraw cash instead and then had to do the same walk down the high street (maybe a mile) to go back to Barclays to pay credit card, but this time carrying 6500 pounds in my brown envelope!!! again I got the there ok and managed to pay it off my card. Again I had to go past 3 bookies, and usually I would have stopped and most proberly spent the lot in them, but I managed to walk past and not gamble, I am sooooo proud of myself!!! However my bonus is now all gone, and I only have my wages now for the month, but if I do not gamble I am sure I will have money left over so that will be great if I can acheive this!!

Seriously guys I have really proved to myself today I can do this, and I am going to continue to prove it day after day.

Stay focused peeps

Just got home from day 22 and it has passed without incident, and also passed without very little thoughts of you know what. As you may have read I paid off a large sum from my barclaycard yesterday and the plan was to balance transfer my other cards to BC to stop the interest, but they decided to drop my limit to 1000 pounds, so now I am unable to transfer the balance which has P***** me off slightly!! So tonight I will be searching the net for a new Credit card to balance transfer too, if they will not let me have one then this will seriously dent my hopes of ridding myself of the debt as the interest I am getting on a monthly basis is around 350 pounds! WHY DID I PUT MYSELF IN THIS SITUATION!!!!!!!!!AAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH

The next three days will be hard as I am working in London on my own and these are the times I would spend every spare moment in bookies/casinos so I need to stay as busy as hell these next three days, and unfortunatley my no money no gamble theory will not work as I need money with me to live the next three days.

I will try an dstay focused and if I can do the next three days it will be a majour milestone for me

Keep going guys everyday is a small step to beating this devil

Dave,

Thanks for the post on my diary. You can do it, try and focus on the not gambling and not the debt for now. It is tough especially in the first few weeks but keep it going. If you just look at the debt it gets demoralising.

I was a crazy gambler, I mean a nightmare completely self destructive and I managed to give up. There is no secret all it took was determination.

Keep it up mate.

Cheers, Jim

Well as you may have read I am workin in London this week, and I have managed to beat day 23 without gambling!! even though I had loads of time on my hands, I just checked into my hptel and watched countdown, then deal or no deal, feel asleep then went for a curry and then back to my room to watch the footy. Typically I would have found the nearest casino and sat there all afternoon and night sometimes, wake up late for work hanging, and then make loads of excuses that my room was noisey etc hence why I could not sleep!!

Well I had 9 hours sleep and I feel great !! I cannot believe though how many bookies there are in London, it seems every 5 shops is a bookies, I was driving through yesterday and I must of seen 10 billy hillys in the space of half a mile, its crazy and shold not be allowed. However I managed to drive by, and only once did the little gambling demon sat on my shoulder and try to make me go in one of them, I just hit him off and drove on!!!

Day 24 has started, I will report later, but I am soooo confident I will have anothner gamble free day

I am proud to announce that day 24 is now complete without gambling!!

I have mangaged to work away from home with money on me and not go to a bookies or a casino, I am a very proud man tonight and long may it continue.

Take care all

Well done mate, you can do it!

Cheers, Jim

Thanks for the support Dazzler, its nice to know I have people out there helping me!

Well Day 25 passed without incident, and I am now enjoying life alot more. I have alot more time on my hands and I do not feel so stressed or tired as I did 25 days ago. I have a 10 pound note in my wallet thats been there for 3 days now, this would have been unheard of 26 days ago!!

Its the weekened now and I never used to gamble on weekends due to the fact that I always spend the weekend with my family, so I am confident ofnot doing it for the next couple of days.

Take care all

Just poping in to sya I am half way through day 27 an dits going well. I had not thought of gambling until I put the TV on and 3 adverst for gambling came on one after the other!! It should be banned from TV, just like ciggeratte adverts have been.

Keep going guys and together we can beat this