Hello all,
Somehow, I am still off gambling. I'm 883 days away from my last bet. However, a few weeks ago I did a dumb thing. I flirted with gambling again. I was close to having a bet and I documented it in the forum. It was a really stupid thing to do as it's opened up a can of worms.
Every day since then I've been struggling not to bet. I've been calling the helpline and using willpower to stay away but also making spreadsheets, devising betting systems, writing out paper bets. It's not good.
Tonight again, I've written a few bets that I would have with this new system. I feel consumed by gambling again and I'm not even betting.
My advice is stay well away from gambling and all of its traps. Newspapers and whatever triggers you. I regret flirting with gambling now and am paying the price. I know I am likely to have a bet, it's just so likely now. I hope I don't but I've opened pandoras box.
Such a dumb thing to do.
It's great I have been 883 days without gambling and I don't give myself a pat on the back for that every single day. I really should.
Sorry about the negative post. Just sharing my experiences of late and hope that someone can learn from my mistakes.
Come on, you're better than this. Nearly 900 days, don't throw it away now. So many people on here would love to be that long GF, don't waste all your effort now.
You've offered some great advice to other people on the forum in the post above - you haven't gambled which is the main thing but what does it achieve doing "imaginary bets"? What kept you on track for such a long time if you don't mind me asking? Best wishes, Phil.
PS I'm GIVING you a pat on on the back!
A classic angel and devil on your shoulder fighting each other and you sound trapped in between.
The spreadsheets, ideas... you are flirting with the devil.. Do you really want to enter that deep abusive relationship with gambling ?
No, thats why the side of you that sees sense and reason is sharing this ugly battle.
You have come so far.... remember all the days you have not given into the self abuse/harm that
addiction cost you.
Stay on site , delete the plans to have that one last dance with abuse as you know it wont be a one off.
Try and change your focus towards the power you have built in your resolve to come this far, it is far superiour
You can overcome this
Tulsi, wow well done for such and achievement nearly 900 days. just remember that you've got this far and you can go all the way. Please please don't let it come back into to your life! Can you speak to someone I your family to help you through this period?
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