Who am I?

Day 7,

Thank you Stephen and Sharon. You are both completely right, we have all been there in our own ways and through our recovery we each need to do whatever we need to do in order to stay gamble free, in order to hopefully free us so we can lead happy and productive lives.

I suppose in some sense the means I have chosen to enable me to be gamble free also give me a massive sense of relief and maybe next payday I will even be able have a small treat budget and maybe it will be fun to see how far I can stretch it- live a little, live a lot so to speak 🙂

Morning WAI

8 days GF , you are doing wonderful.set your next milestone at getting that treat that you deserve.

Annie x

Thanks Annie, strangely feeling better today 🙂 x

Keep fighting WAI ! you're on your way to success ! We all know it's not going to be fixed overnight but you're gonna get there one day at a time 🙂

Sars

Good to see you back amongst the diaries Wai . Hope your happy and well ..... stephen

Hi WAI thanks for posting and here's to a GF week and future for all. Hope your feeling better generally, take care S:)

Thanks Sars, Stephen and Sharon. Am still gamble free, just added the days up I'm 13 days gamble free today. So will be 2 weeks tomorrow.

At the weekend stayed up late and saw some shooting starts was really amazing! They were too quick for me to make a wish though 🙂 but truely spectucular.

X

Hi Wai

Hope you are having gentler days, well done on 14 days GF. Getting closer to that well earned treat 🙂

Take care

Annie x

Thanks Annie x

Day 15.

If only I could turn back the clock... These thoughts consume my mind constantly. If only.. What if. Why? Why? Why?

It doesn't feel real. This situation, my addiction.

But it is real, however much I can't believe it. It is real.

What's done is done.

I can't turn back the clock,

I need to concentrate on adressing the Why? Why? Why? Now.

I need to start finding the answers within myself,

So I can move foward

and find happiness once again.

Why oh Why said Wai with a sigh

Remorseful agonising cry

Warily , a lttle scared

She spreads her wings , a fledgling bird

Bravely starting a new life

Free from horror , pain and strife

Take care Wai . You know , you can re(dis)cover your life ......stephen

'I can't turn back the clock' Remember these words when you feel yourself starting to slip into punishment mode. I sound like a stuck record but if you get to the end of the day and have gambled what more can you do? Easier said than done I know but not beating yourself up mentally is key. Have a great GF day, take care S:) x

Thanks Stephen and Sharon, I can see many changes in your diaries as time goes on, day by day, on your own journeys of self discovery and happiness and I am so proud of you both and the positive things you are doing.

Day 16, finding it relatively easy to be honest with simply not being able to do it. It is just the hard part now, which is down to me, to start figuring out these things slowly, start sorting my house, my life, my mind out slowly.

I'm ready to start making changes and I'm more open to accepting help, I've started the process for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, so hopefully this will help.

X

Morning Wai hope your having a great GF weekend .

Thankyou for the kind words on my diary , always appreciate your support .....stephen

Morning Wai hope your happy and well . Bank holiday coming up and hopefully plenty of sunshine . Great time to lark about on the beach , have a swim or maybe go for a walk . Lovely simple pleasures to savour and enjoy . Take care .. stephen

Hi WAI

Hope you are well, its great to hear that you have started the process for therapy.Echo stephen's thoughts above, heres hoping for a bright sunny bank holiday (or just a dry one) to enjoy the great outdoors.

Take care Annie x