Why do we go back?

Hi Sech. We've all been there, you definitely aren't on your own! Its not an easy chain to break but the best way to try is to put as many obstacles in your way as you can. I now have no access to money apart from when I need to buy something and then I show my wife the receipts. It doesnt sound fun but you soon get used to it and it takes away any temptation. Also, give the helpine number a ring, I found it really useful as they will listen and offer advice without judging you. Youve made a good start by coming on here anyway which shows you want to stop. We are all in this together!

Thanks mate. Everyone's story is slightly different but there are so many similarities too.
I have been going to councilling which is helping me and you're dead right about the money situation.
I've recently gotten into a new relationship and I try and explain how serious this issue is but for people who aren't familiar with it it's difficult to understand. Well it's down to me to make sure she doesn't need to find out the destruction it can cause

Yes, it was very difficult for my wife to get her head round it when it all came out. But it was much worse that she found out by chance rather than me telling her. Its so much easier if those around you know what the score is and can help and support you. The money thing is working great for me at the moment, and has also helped my general impulsive spending, so Im seeing savings all round! I now believe that I can defnitely stop forever which is the only way we can ever beat it.

Yeah that's definitely the case. So many times I've convinced myself I can gamble responsibly but deep down i know I'm just kidding myself. I think that's one of the most difficult things, knowing that to succeed it has to be totally t total which is so unusual to our usual behaviour. Sounds like you are doing well. Tbh I just need to keep making the right choices. Not the stupid ones that I have done over and over again.

Day 5.

Going a few days has never been a problem for me. It's clear that I shouldn't have access to significant amounts of money because that's when problems occur.
I was thinking about a couple of things today. One is how I, and probably many others, somehow think that gambling my way out of immediate money problems is a good idea. Crazy in reality especially when I don't stop no matter what pretty much.
The other was that quitting completely closes the chance of ever "winning" the money to pay for a holiday, or buy a car or similar things. In reality this wouldn't happen even if I did win. I think accepting that you only have your income though, and that's it, is hard to take sometimes especially when the amount doesn't seem much compared to the gambling money.

Hi Sech .

As the song said " Breaking up is hard to do " and it's the same with gambling , we kid ourselves believing that as you said " We can gamble our way out a problem " weather that be Financial or emotional and the thought of never gambling again scares the hell out of us , simply because it means we close the door on the chance of life changing amounts of money , were " Dreamers of fortune " my friend ?.

I've won substantial amounts during my many years as a compulsive gambler , not life changing but sizeable but never once did I put any of that money to good use and cant think of more than once or twice where I actually purchased anything at all .

I'd stash it away and drip feed it back from whence it came all the time believing it was just a question of time before I hit the big one , obviously it all went back to the bookies plus large amounts of my own genuine hard earned but it never stopped me from continuing to tell myself it was for the greater good of myself and my family , such is the power of the addicted mind ?.

The truth is , if I did the lottery now and won £5 million it would not be enough as I'd want £10 million ! and as I saw my pot going down through buying the house , the new cars and the fancy watch my gambling mind would still be saying that it needs to be filled up to it's original level , For Compulsive Gambler like myself money won has no value and certainly no meaning it justs enables me to continue gambling .

The " Letting go" of that false existance and ideology is the only thing that will set you free :)).

Best wishes

Alan

Thanks Alan and you are dead right. Thought you were going to quote the famous song from frozen there mate too lol.
I know what you mean about the never having enough mentality.
On a similar theme I'd also always try to win the money before ever actually buying anything, which most of the time ended in disaster and then me thinking ' why didn't I just buy what I wanted/needed like a normal person'. So much of its in the mind

So after reading this forum nearly everyday for about a year the last few weeks I just haven't felt like I've wanted to.
I haven't managed to be completely gamble free. I made those decisions not to be I guess. That's not why I haven't been reading though. It felt good to have a break from it I think.
Overall things are going well though, I am disappointed in myself for playing a few machines and have come clean to my new partner about that fact. I do miss the social side of gambling quite a lot. Only thing to do is stay out of those environments with those people completely I think. When I think about what I've just said about social gambling I immediately thought c'mon what are you saying thinking back to the loneliness of massive gambling binges trying to hide from everybody.
Anyhow best wishes to everyone. If you want it enough it is 100percent achievable

It's hard isn't it, to feel that that big win will never come if we quit , thing is we always loose more than if we had just saved it

I think it really is a major obstacle for many people including myself to think that we have our wage and that's it. In reality we know that this is best. This is how we should be but because of the gambling. The highs and lows our minds get warped. Someone asked me what I'd do if I won the lottery the other day and I remember thinking, it would be a disaster. Sad but probably true.

Starting again day 0.
It's sooo annoying. I know what I need to do. I definitely know what I don't need to do. Why is it so difficult. Suppose it's all I've ever known but why put myself through such stress, and even worse the people who love me through the stress and worry.
Recently I've still been attempting to gamble responsibly which is impossible for me. Can't have been ready to let go. Like Alan said 'breaking up is never easy' but there is no question it is the only option.
I'm gonna be skint til the end of the year but in the grand scheme of things that's a small price to pay and a good target.
I tell people you have to want it 100 percent but clearly haven't had that conviction myself. Hopefully my Mrs will support me but if she's had enough I wouldn't blame her. I've got to do this for me now. This is it, I hope everyone is doing well. Thanks for reading

Hi Sech7

Thank you for the kind message you left on my thread earlier; I appreciate you pointing out the efforts I did make to help people but the truth is that I need(ed) to see it through. Half a job done is no job at all! But we live and learn and ultimately we get on with it!

I've been reading your thread and one sentence jumped out at me, something I hadn't really fully considered before - and that is "... for a Compulsive Gambler like myself money won has no value and certainly no meaning it justs enables me to continue gambling".

How true that is. I have a scary disrespect for money and that's OK, to a degree, while things are good perhaps but times and events can change very quickly ... and money suddenly takes on a value like never before ...

I hope your GF journey is going well, it's not easy, we all know that and I wish you all the best and will keep an eye out for your posts. Thanks again Sech.

There is a chat room at 8 Sech7 - maybe you'll get some advice there?

Such a stressful time at the moment and that's when the escapism is soo tempting. But it only leads to more and more problems. It's definitely not worth it. I know that. We all know that.

On a positive note it's nice to see that some progress is being made on the stakes and hopefully frequency of betting on the fobts. I'm not sure the bookie in question is making it's proposals for the right reasons but I'm still pleased it's been given some publicity.
I've never really been into online gambling thank goodness,Simply because the rewards couldn't be collected immediately I think, but the constant stream of adverts and promotions I receive is getting out of control now. It seriously needs to be looked at by the government.
It can be so difficult at times but keep fighting everyone. We know what we need to do. Well not do i should say