Worry and Regret

Things pretty much remain the same for me. I’m not gambling and reaping the rewards for this. I’m out running just about every day and continue to get fitter and healthier.

Not much to add.

I’m going to a family BBQ this afternoon which will be good.

RR

RR

fella thanks for popping by, good to read that life rewards the effort you give it.

without feeding addiction the gift is opportunity 

keep taking them, enjoy the freedom from self harming and as a result a greater understanding of your own mind.

with strength and honour 

just for today 

Duncs 

I’m now 301 days without gambling (meant to post yesterday at 300 but forgot). I got up at half five this morning to go for a 5 mile run before work. I’ve lifted weights tonight, I’ve done sit ups tonight. I’ve eaten healthy today. I’ve gained self discipline in the past 300 days.

Something has occurred in the past 300 days where I’ve learned to say no to the voice in my head. Most of all I feel content. It’s true what they say - you get out what you put into life. 301 days ago I didnt care about myself. I was lazy in body and mind. I wanted the quick fix with the least amount of effort. I was lost and desperately trying to hide it from absolutely everyone else who knew me.

Not one day in the past 301 have I taken my abstinence for granted. Its not lost on me how lucky I am.

RR

Just want to say your story is inspiring and gives me hope. Even thought at it on and off 8 years . Was sports betting initially. But like yourself this year the dreaded roulette wheel. I was extremely lucky to not lose and break even , but as you say the financial isn’t just that. It’s mentally and how affects you in every fibre of you and your life and relationships. Likewise I’ll sit and night lazy and watch tv dead inside . When in recovery I ran last time when abstained for good few years. Thank you for reminding me how well running helps . You’ve motivated me and well done on 300 days. Let’s both keep away from that wheel. Take care , just for today we won’t gamble.

light

Nice day planned today. I’ve been for a run although I felt a little lethargic during this but it happens every now and again. My running has improved so much since Covid arrived. I am running various distances quicker now than I have for years. This makes me v happy.

Need to take the wife to a shopping centre this afternoon to return most of the c**P she ordered online during shutdown that she no longer wants. I won’t be going into shops instead, I’ll take the kids for a walk. Can’t wait for football to return - I wasn’t designed to be going to shops on a Saturday afternoon.

Going out for dinner tonight.

RR

Hello RR. 

Glad to read you're doing OK. 

I'm ok been busy at work and walking n running so all keep me occupied. 

Boo 

?‍♂️?‍♂️?

Hi... I don't think I was designed to go to shops full stop. Iv'e only been in supermarkets since lock down. I woosh i could say the same for bookmakers.

Good stuff on the running and fitness. As iv'e said before running is sometimes the only thing that saves me from myself.

Keep up the good work... S.A 

Feeling in a very positive and happy mood today. I was promised sun and a heatwave today which I have planned my day around. Neither has happened yet but I remain positive.

Went out at 7am for 5 mile run to beat promised 20 degree plus heat at 10am. Nice run. Troublesome hamstring offered up no trouble.

Been to supermarket for BBQ food which I look forward to eating later today while basking in glorious sunshine.

Prior to BBQ taking boys a nice cycle and stopping at lovely local pub for a few ice cool pints in beer garden drenched in fabulously hot sunny weather.

If the sun doesn’t come out today I’m going to go beserko. I’ve put all my eggs in one basket and I’ve planned for a super duper day.

In between all this I need to cut the pesky grass, wash the care and take stuff to the dump.

No thoughts of gambling. No desire to gamble. 

RR

Always something to do.. Kerp busy. Take care boo ?

323 days gamble free today.

Ive ran 7 miles this morning and 5 last night and Ive officially lost 20lbs since lockdown began. Funny thing that. I used to frequently lose pounds sterling now I save them and lose pounds fat instead.

All the kids are at school today and I’m going for pub lunch and a nice cool pint(s) lager with the wife. Shameful behaviour in the pub when kids are at school but hey ho I’m looking forward to it.

Im in such a far happier place than I was a year ago. The difference is immeasurable. Is it not gambling? Is it the consistency with running and exercise, better eating etc? I think it is down to all of these changes but I am adamant that no changes would have occurred had I not first of all come back here and try again. Its the best thing that I could have done. Life runs with momentum and I had been on a downward spiral. Ive turned it full circle. It takes effort but its mine to have. One bet and Id return to daily gambling, I’d have no money, no motivation and I’d stop self caring for myself. I know this through experience and this is what motivates me every day to keep going and keep putting in the effort. As they say in life, you get out what you put in which isn’t the case with a roulette machine.

RR

Great to read. Not everyday is an easy one in our world post gambling but it's the ambition we have to move further away from it that stirs us on. 

I'm enjoying fresh air. I spend money still but on things I need. Nice food and hive to the kids too. My respect for the queen's head is better now. 

You take care and carry on with your powerful motivation 

Boo ???

Woke up a little sore today. I ran a 5 mile hill run yesterday with the half way point being just over 1200ft in height. Fabulous views from that height and the way down was far quicker than the brutal run up. My buttocks and lower back took a pounding but the legs feel ok. Good run but a day of rest is required today.

Cutting the grass today. As usual, Ive got right into the grass. I moan about it early in the year then start to take a little pride in making it look brilliant and cut it every week. Its a big area and it takes about 2 hours cutting, strimming etc. I do my neighbours every week. They’re lovely and the poor guy has battled illness in the past year so Im happy to help. 

This afternoon we’re going to a lovely park with the kids. Its on the water, has a fab playpark, has a football area and basketball court. Brilliant. I love it.

Im having my first days holiday of the year tomorrow and Ill take advantage of the 50 Percent off at restaurants. Something to look forward to.

Also, I’m flying away on holiday in less than a month (hopefully) and without getting ahead of myself, I should celebrate one year without gambling abroad. Nice.

RR

Just came on to post and noticed an error in previous post. Half way point was not 1200ft. The top of the hill was 1200 ft and then we ran back down. If anybody read that they’d be like “that guy is mental”. Innocent mistake??‍♀️

Anyway, tough week at work. We are very quiet at the moment which is a concern. We came back to active contracts and lots of cancelled future contracts. One by one those contracts have came to an end with little to follow. I think we’ll be fine but I also think it’ll be early next year until things pick up.

I was reading today that Rolls Royce posted a £5.4 billion six month loss with 9000 job losses and plant closures forecast. Such a terrible shame the consequences of Covid. So many businesses and people affected.

I’ve been visiting my poor Gran in hospital all week. She is very, very old and she is at end of life. She is suffering and in pain and it breaks my heart. I think she only has a few days to go. I pray that God takes her now. She is the best and will be a tremendous addition to Heaven.

I’ve not ran as much this week because I’ve been at the hospital but I did run 10 miles on Monday and 7 miles early this morning combined with a hard run last Saturday I’ve done ok. I’ll get out tomorrow and Sunday.

Just over 3 weeks to holiday. I need it and I’m looking forward to it as are wife and kids. I hope destination stays off quarantine list.

RR

Hi RR. Sorry to hear about your gran awful to see loved ones suffer. Does she have good nurses looking after her? I nursed for 30 yrs one thing I couldn't tolerate was one of my patients being in pain used to hurt me I would try everything possible to keep them comfortable. I hope gran finds peace soon

Hello RR. I'm fine thanks as I hope you are too. 

I'm detecting autumn so some cooler runs and walks add to the mix a nice shower. 

I'm keeping busy. Keeping focused too. 

Thanks. 

Take care ? boo