Worry and Regret

Had a really tough 8 mile run yesterday followed by 5 miles this morning. My mileage for this year so far is double my annual mileage last year. And, I’m getting way faster. My times are in line with what I was doing nearly ten years ago. Lockdown provided the chance to run consistently and I love it now so I’ve never stopped.

My poor Gran passed away last Tuesday. Poor soul. She was in her 90s and was sharp as a tack. The last time she was in hospital she was 8 years old so went well over 80 years without being ill enough to go to hospital. Quite remarkable. 

RR

Condolences RR. 

You sound well on the running front. Keep it going. You're a star. 

Boo ????‍♂️

Less than two weeks until holiday. I can’t wait. We’re definitely going regardless if we need to quarantine or not. We’ve saved for it, paid it and we’re all needing a holiday.

I hope to have a nice weekend. Doing the usual stuff - nice long runs and a few beers watching the football. I even ventured back to the gym a few times. I tried to cancel my membership but it is far harder to do than before. Still waiting on them getting back to me. I’d rather be outdoors than in the gym now. Running is my thing now. I love it and I’m sticking with that.

Two weeks shy of one year gambling free. I appreciate this so much. I’m so very grateful that I am not gambling. The lost money, lost time, sleep, time with family etc its too precious now. My new life is far improved from the old one. I just need to protect myself from myself.

RR

Very positive read. Well done you. 

I should have been doing great north run today.. ? Que sera as they say.

Stay safe boo 

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I’ve been spending a lot of time reading Boo Radley’s diary this morning. Excellent diary detailing how a lovely, special lady navigates away from the world of gambling addiction - a great read for anyone new arriving to this forum.

Anyway, I’ve not posted much in the past week however, I read everyday. This week, I ran my fastest 10 miler in many years. In the process of the 10 miles I also beat my best 10k time this year. I pushed hard on this run. So hard, I needed a few days off afterwards because the legs were sore and very tight.

In a few days I go on holiday. Can’t wait. Wearing masks on plane will be a little weird but if thats the cost then so be it.

I will celebrate one year off gambling abroad - I’ll toast myself secretly.

So, officially, I’m off work for a few weeks and I’m going to appreciate it. I’m going to appreciate every day on holiday and then at home.

This morning, my son and I will go for a run and then maybe coffee shop. I like a mocha as a treat he likes a donut.

I bought a few nice new things for holiday and I was so happy trying them on. Its nice to have that money to treat yourself. In the past I wouldnt spend money on myself even if I had it I would have tried to gamble on roulette to try to win more - the life of someone never happy, never content. Nowadays I am both happy and content. I can appreciate even the smallest of things.

RR

You are too kind. And thank you. 

Have an amazing. Safe holiday and I shall toast to you on your anniversary. You sound so complete ? Boo 

Morning RR. Hope all is going smoothly.

Boo 

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Morning RR. Hope all is going smoothly.

Boo 

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A few days ago I reached one full year without gambling. A lot has changed in that year and I am extremely grateful that I started a diary and started on a new path. This new journey has brought many rewards both mentally and physically.

We returned from holiday in the small hours of the morning. Everybody had a fabulous time. It was amazing. Lovely country, brilliant weather and a fabulous relaxing time.

I can’t believe I’ve reached a year without gambling or rather how fast that time passed and how better my life has become. This is just the start for me. I want things to continue to improve. Obviously, my finances are far, far better but all the other small things which were once massive i.e. worry, stress, anxiety, lack of sleep, laziness, feeling sorry for myself, lack of motivation, angry etc - they have all gone.

I set targets now in both physical and mental activities. I run, I exercise, I eat better. This has led to weight loss, feeling fit and healthy and, again, this empowers my mental well being - I feel good. Everything feels like its getting better.

RR

Good afternoon,

Many congratulations on your achievement.

Best

Hi RR brilliant achievement not just in recovery but your whole lifestyle . There is a guy in my GA meeting that has managed the same has to be a huge link with it all. When mental health improves in recovery other things follow. After 4 months in recovery now I'm starting to think about improving my physical health . Long may your recovery and life improvements continue RR

Congrats RR... onward and onward now. 

Thank you for your support 

Boo ?

RR

strength and honour to you fella 

your humility shines

just for today 

Duncs 

Thank you all for your kind words on my diary.

Ive came back from holiday and caught a cold. It made me think that in the past year I don’t recall being unwell. I can’t help but think that may be linked to my increase in exercise and in particular running. I usually run every morning on holiday but I only had two runs in the week that I was away. I like to run by the sea and explore but the living arrangements made this difficult because I would have woken everybody up too early.

Anyway, I’m still off work for a few weeks and just taking it easy. The wife is dealing with all the washing and I’ve volunteered to do the ironing to keep me busy.

Not got much else to say other than I can’t believe it’s October- time sure is flying past.

RR

Oh you must be on the mend by now I hope. You probably got your cold because you relaxed.

Stay safe... Enjoy the ironing 

Boo ?