Worry and Regret

So, Im now in Day 12 of quarantine and looking forward to getting outdoors.

I’ve had a cold for 12 days and now my sinuses are very sore - teeth, head, face all aches constantly. I think I can’t shake this off because we’re stuck in. I need fresh air.

Ive not been able to run for two weeks. I miss it desperately and look forward to getting out running through nature with the wind in my face and my heart pumping.

So, one week of holiday followed by 2 weeks of quarantine and eating like a horse. I new the deal. In order to get the holiday we knew we’d be quarantined for two weeks. We’ve behaved and followed the rules.

Anyway, by Monday morning I’ll be back in my normal routine. Can’t wait.

RR

Come out Monday fighting like a spartan. 

Yes eat and get well. You probably got a cold because you've stopped and relaxed. 

Take care 

Boo ?

I return to work tomorrow and I must admit that I am looking forward to it. Not so much the working but the return to structure and normality. I have been off work for a full month. I was on holiday for one week, quarantined for two weeks and worked from home last week.

In the past month I’ve not been able to run much and only just starting back after a two week cold and quarantine. So tomorrow it all starts again - consistent exercise, good eating and generally looking after my health. Doing this helps me mentally deal with all obstacles in life. When I look after myself I feel good.

I’ve not gambled in a long, long time now and I’m grateful for this. When I return to work tomorrow I do so with a focus on the countdown to Christmas. I am grateful that I can look forward to Christmas without money worries and I plan to appreciate Christmas with my wife and kids more than ever. I look forward to enjoying the here and now and not thinking that this time next year will be different. When I gambled I always worried about money/debt. It would keep me awake at night. Nowadays its different and I love that.

I read often that newcomers will say how do you replace the buzz or excitement of gambling. For me, at the end, there was only desperation. All excitement faded away long ago. I think the idea of that type of short term excitement is wasted. I’m seeking long term satisfaction. Of course, we all want to be happy but this is perhaps not an emotion we will experience all day every day but I believe you can feel satisfied at least when you get in bed knowing that you’ve worked hard, lived to a moral standard and not wasted your time, money or energy on something that is making you ill.

Gambling made me unhealthy in body and mind of that I am certain. As soon as you stop you can get to work correcting that. I never knew this I only thought benefits centred around money/debt. I was wrong  but you don’t know these things until you set about fixing yourself.

 In recovery literature you read about one day at a time. One day at a time should be everyone’s mantra regardless of addiction or different issues. Nobody gets fit, loses a stack of weight, drops bad habits, builds new careers/relationships etc in a day and these days we all want instant success but the idea of making every day count one day at a time is something which is appealing. Only when you add up all those days will we see change. Even in these uncertain times of Covid I’m excited about the future and what it will bring.

RR

Morning RR.. Hope the week goes well. 

We've come a long way in a short time haven't we. 

Stay safe.  Keep making the right choices 

Boo ?

Morning RR., I've had a heck of a busy time. You stay safe. Boo ?

I have had a crazy last few weeks. A lot going on all at once and I’ve not posted at all in that time. 

First of all, Covid has became a little more personal after a long time where I didn’t know anyone who had it or was affected by it. First off, one of my kids gets sent home from school to isolate because track and trace contacted the school saying someone with Covid had been in contact with them. Within a few days of that my wife was contacted by track and trace with similar story that she had been in contact with another family member who has it and so my wife has to isolate also. Neither wife nor kid has any symptoms whatsoever but eventually we got them tested because my other kids go to same school. Both tests negative which is great but between my family and my wife’s family there is 4 confirmed cases in the past week. 

Added to above, we’ve been getting some extensive work done in the house and the place was like a building site for almost 3 weeks. Not unusual for 6 workman to be in at any time, no kitchen for two weeks and big skip sitting smack in the middle of my driveway. Finally, this should be the last day and we can start living normally again.

I continue to try to find a balance that will let me run through the winter. Last week I was out at 5.30 in the morning a few times but its not sustainable. I need to get out at night after work just like before the clocks went back but I’ve not been doing this. It starts again tomorrow no matter how dark, cold, wet or windy or how tired or stressed that I feel. I need my running - laziness has no place in this new life I’ve been trying to build.

RR

I’ve had a good week. Nice and busy at work and been out running every day with a rest day on Thursday night. Had a good 7 mile run yesterday and going out for a run with eldest shortly then maybe to cafe for coffee and cake.

My running puts me in a good and relaxed mood. I look at my life through different eyes when Ive been running. I feel happy and content.

415 days without gambling now. That seems like a big number but the truth is that time has flown by. I shudder to think where I’d be or how I’d be feeling if I hadn’t stopped. Not a day goes by where I’m not grateful that I’m not gambling. Things continue to improve.

Im excited about the countdown to Christmas. A magical time of year and I’m very lucky to have young kids where you can see the excitement growing in their little eyes. 

I hope everyone has a fabulous weekend and is well and healthy.

RR

RR

fella I simply salute you, the day count matters because you have made every day of recovery one of rediscovery.

inspiring

just for today 

Duncs 

I'm all ok. Busy busy busy at work and home at moment though. 

Thanks for popping by and returning good wishes to you  boo ?

And so it is. I jog into tier 4 on Friday. Basically, in my neck of the woods going from tier 3 to tier 4 means that I can’t go for a coffee anymore. 

In my life, the only difference now compared with April is that I go to work. Everything that interests me is shut. I work, I come home then I go for a run. Tier 4 rules won’t change that. Getting out of Xmas shopping with the wife is a tier 4 gift from the heavens.

Ive got my health, Ive got money for Christmas and I’m in a job. I’m not gambling and I’m grateful for every one of those things.

RR

I’ve been for an 8 mile run which was great, I’ve had the worst haircut of my life - I look crazy and I’ve battled through a crazy busy supermarket all in one morning. I’m getting dragged to shops this afternoon before they close for lockdown later today. I hate going to shops with the wife - its awful and Im turning into an old man who moans about traffic, other drivers and red lights. Puts me in a bad mood. No doubt we’ll bicker and argue the whole way there and back?

Not being nasty but Friday used to be my day to myself after a hard week at work. Now the wife is home on Fridays she has a list of things to do and needs me to drive her around. I miss my relaxing me time Fridays.

Anyway, I need to go out now, with awful boyband haircut and troop around shops with face tripping me. So enough for now.

RR

Hello. Chuckling at the hair cut story.. Don't be like sampson and let it Sap your running strength. 

I get the me time RR..   but crazy days.. 

Take care 

Boo ?

So, my hair has grown back to handsome levels which is nice ? One less thing to worry about.

Im going for a 7 mile run this morning. I like this distance. Long enough to lose yourself in your healing thoughts but not too long that you’re gubbed for the rest of the day.

I’ll be hanging outside Crimbo lights later and then its relax time in front of tv for football and some tasty snacks.

I have three weeks of work before I stop for a month off. I work as hard as I possibly can when at work. The time flies by and before you know it its the weekend again. I’m excited for Christmas time. I’m really looking forward to it.

RR

Hello RR. 

Thanks for popping in. Yes all fine as I read you are. Crazy busy work and been a bit of trotting in the park as our tier 3 allows,. 

Keep safe. 

Boo ?

I’ve enjoyed my day today. I went for a 7 mile run after dropping the kids at school and it made me feel great afterwards. I went for a very, very long bath and after making lunch I watched some TV relaxing before picking up kids again. Simple day, simple pleasures.

Tomorrow, we’re going out to a local place to see the Christmas lights which always has a large fabulous display through the town centre and then we go for fish and Chips and eat them outside - a bizarre Christmas tradition that we do. Kids love it. So do I. Wife tolerates it for kids but prefers not to be out in cold or wet for any reason whatsoever ?

This Christmas seems surreal with everything thats going on. We finished all of our Christmas shopping in November. Just haven’t taken the chance that shops might be shut so got everything done super early.

Ive got two weeks of work left then off for a month. I’m so looking forward to my time off. I love this time of year. Even as I type the wind is howling outside snd the rain is thundering down yet I am in a warm, comfy house with lovely Christmas lights surrounded by excited kids. For all of that, I am genuinely extremely grateful. Years ago, I never, ever took a second to think about gratitude or the things that I’m grateful for. Nowadays, I do it regularly. Its never a car or nice clothes or possessions of any sort. Usually, its just basic things that we take for granted but many go without.

Take care.

RR