Worry and Regret

Great day today. Just back from the football. Great win and 3 points - jeeps me happy.

Relaxing tonight with a nice beer.

RR

Looking forward to a nice family New Years Eve day today.

We are going out for a nice pub lunch with a few beers this afternoon and tonight we’re having a buffet style party in the house (kids idea). Kids have asked to stay up til midnight - they’ll all be out for the count well before that.

I love New Years. I get such motivation and good, positive feelings going into a New Year. Personally, Ive given myself an unbelievable start to 2020. To go into a New Year 97 days gamble free is amazing. It allows me to start in a good, positive place and from this position I believe things are only going to get better.

Have a lovely day everybody and lets make 2020 a great year for all of us.

RR

Happy New Year Gamcare Members.

Going to start the year well with a 5 mile run. Got a family dinner later today and plan on having a nice day.

Im going to give everything my best shot this year. I desperately want to see where gambling abstinence and solid effort in other aspects of my life can take me this year. I have the benefit of seeing how my life has improved over the past 3 months and this leads me to thinking how much other areas could improve with the same effort. I honestly believe that no mater where we are or what we’re doing things can get better and better is good.

RR

I have just done my 50th Park run... Day 1 of a motivated me x happy new year RR. ?

Boo ?x

Going to go for a 5 mile run this morning. Then a nice bath. Then I’m making my world famous home made soup. Other than that, I’m having a day in today. Going to relax, watch some TV, read a book etc. I like days like today.

Nailed a 6 mile run this morning. 11 miles down in first 2 days. Home made soup cooking away. Now going to watch the lion king with daughter and Christmas chocolates. Not a penny spent and a delightful day.

RR

100 days gamble free today.

I celebrated with a 4 mile run and went out to a Chinese restaurant for lunch.

Nice achievement. I was in a world of mess 100 days ago. My head was in a terrible mess and I was unbelievably worried about my future.

I came here and read loads and loads and decided I’d had enough and needed to change. It was a fabulous decision and has led to my seeking improvements in other areas of my life which are ongoing.

RR

Well done.. I pounded out 3..

Heres to the weekend 

Boo ??

Went for a 5 mile run this morning and it was hard not physically but mentally. I’ve let my fitness go over the past few years and its going to be a tough road back. Ive run 20 miles in 4 days and I’m wary of not doing too much too soon but I enjoy the after- feeling of going for a run. That feeling of knowing that I’ve done something good, healthy and productive. The mental difficulty this morning was the time taken for a few of the miles which was awful and probably the slowest times I’ve ever recorded. But hey, it can only get better.

Ive not had gambling urges for a long time now. My last barrier is getting the idea of going to a casino as a fun event turned into the reality of going to the casino is a disastrous thing for me. Ive convinced myself that I dislike bookies, online etc but the excitement of the casino always had a hold over me. In truth, those happy memories are very old and have been replaced with the utterly desperate experiences Ive had in recent years. I have real potential for self harm in the casino in terms of finance and personal embarrassment. Online roulette has the potential to break me very, very quickly. Gambling simply cannot have a place in my future.

This year, as a healthy distraction, I’ll be focusing on change in physical health and fitness in order to be more mentally stable.

Im concerned my diary will become a diary of running miles rather than gambling thoughts and ideas but its my diary and Ill do what I think is best for me.

RR

Well done RR.. 

Yes casino are my chaos.. I cannot ever think I can entertain a visit just weekly with x amount to spend. I have no discipline.

Please post your runs.. I find them motivating

Boo ????

Hi RR and a happy new year to you!... and well done on your gamble free time 🙂

Yes, my diary became something of a running diary back towards the beginning, but it also coincided with long stretches of gamble free time and that is no coincidence! Running gave me those feel good feelings and became a partial replacement for the gambling. It is no surprise that when I stopped running gambling started to return. I think running is a good starting place for long term recovery.

Regards... S.A

I plan on going a shorter run today where there will be periods of fast running. These runs are the hardest but it needs to get done. 

Back to work tomorrow after 17 days off and Im ready to go back. I need to transform back into a structured life. I missed putting the bins out because I didn’t know what day it was. Crikey.

Ive loved my Christmas break. Ive loved it because I wasn't gambling. Ive loved it because I was able to focus myself on the here and now and be present. I plan to keep this up and I’m excited about where it may take me.

RR

Life can be bizarre. Ive been so full of promise and enthusiasm as of late then work happened today. You think New Year new start but I just returned to all the old problems that I left behind in December. Ive been in the same place for almost 20 years now. It rarely changes.

I promised myself the new me was going to run at night after work and not attempt to go out before work because as much as I enjoy early runs before work its not sustainable getting up at 0530hrs.

So, I get home from work and think no way am I going for a run. Im tired, fed up, its cold and pouring outside but I think to myself that I need to change in order to see change.

Out I went for a 4 mile run and Im so happy that I did. Home for just after 8 and now showered, jammies on sitting relaxing with cup of tea. Simple pleasures.

I feel like everyday during the week Im going to have to battle with myself to go out for a run yet Ive never returned from one not feeling amazing. Change is challenging but so rewarding.

RR

Good stuff RR. 🙂

I remember when i was marathon training a few years ago. I intially had to force myself to go out but after a while I was going out at every opportunity. A few random thoughts about running...

1. Have a head cold... go running, but keep it short

2. Have a chest infection... don't go running

3. Stressed out and tired from work.... go running.

4. Problems on your mind.... go for a slow jog and process your thoughts.

5. Run up hill, down hill and everything in between.

6. If doing a long run, don't do it all on concrete or hard surfaces.

7. When the moment feels right, sprint for 30 seconds.

8. Jog some uphill towards end of long run... increases endurance

9. Do most running outdoors, keep treadmills to a minimum.

10 Do a long run late in the evening and then an even longer run very early in the morning to simulate the demands of a marathon.

Random thoughts end... Have a good day! 🙂

Been a difficult mid week on the whole “changing” thing. I went a run on Monday and felt good and happy. Didn’t go out on Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday and instead returned to ways of old where I’d get home slouch on the couch like a beached whale gorging on utter junk until it was time to drag my sorry self off to bed. I so desperately want to find a solution to this problem because it affects me. It affects my physical and mental health and when that crashes I return to gambling just to finish myself off.

I went a 5 mile run this morning and it was great. I’ve felt great all day. I need to find a solution Monday to Thursday.

Life finds a way to get in the way. Work finds a way to get in the way but I will always work so need to find a workable way. People reading this might think I’m a bit over the top with this type of thing but I don’t care. I’m a youngish guy who refuses to accept that I’m destined to float through life on shutdown six months of the year due to the British weather and climate. I want to work hard, be successful, be fit and healthy, be a good parent, be a good husband, be adventurous and have fun doing it so that I never again need to seek cheap, easy, short sighted, fake fun in a casino playing roulette. Thats all roulette ever was - quick, easy fun (until I ruined it). 

Work has just gotten to me this week. Getting up and going in the dark and returning in the dark. Its the utter exhaustion I feel when I walk in the front door. Where has my energy went to? Anyway, this is a process. Rome wasn't built in a day and all that. I’m not gambling and that’s good enough. I’ll try to do better next midweek.

RR