I am so lost these last couple of days. I have been having nightmares of gambling and losing all my family.
I am noticing the adverts more and more. I woke this morning and the first thing I thought of was T*****a. I can't seem to shift the thought of these sites or going to the shop to buy a scratch card.
But today I will not go to a shop. I will leave my phone out of site and get on with my job. I have all the protections in place and have no access to money as my triangle is still in place.
270 days gamble free and these last few days it feels pointless because it is the only thing I can think about.
I will always carry this hate and never forgive myself for what I put my family through and I deserve to carry this because we struggle everyday financially.
One day at a time...
Hi Sunshine, 270 days is a long time gamble free, well done. Sure, we will all have days like this but, as you say, you have all the blockers in place for when any urge surfaces. Stay strong and I'm sure the urges will pass. What helps me is to talk about it with my wife when I feel like this so she knows how I feel and talking about it keeps me on the straight and narrow.
All the best
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