The past 7 days have been full of ups and downs mostly downs due to the emotions I have been feeling. I have had time to think about what I have done to the people closest to me and the damage I have done. I have never felt these feelings before and I never want to feel them again and I have needed to feel these to make sure that I don't gamble again. The positive thing is that I have not had any urges to gamble at all.Â
I have attended 4 GA meetings in the past 7 days which have been great. It has given me a platform to exspress how I feel with like minded people and to not be judged. This afternoon is the first time I have felt positive in the past week after having a good conversation with my partner and I just put everything on the line and told her everything and I am so lucky and grateful that she wants to help and support me through this. But I know this is going to be a long journey and I understand all the feelings she has.Â
I really want to make this work and I want to be pro-active in showing that I want to make it work for myself and the people close to me. I want to be a better version of myself even before I was gambling. I am really determined to make this work and create the best future for me and my partner.Â
If there is any advice people can give me on the first few months or any sites you can suggest where I can read literature that would be fantastic.Â
Thanks everyone.
7 days is awesome Jordan. You should be very proud of yourself. The ups and downs are really hard to predict in the first few months. You'll go from being pleased with yourself to disgusted with what's happened in the past. Your mind will drift to gambling and this is where you need to be ultra strong. Hang in there - make it 2 weeks, a month etc. and go from there. Please don't relapse!
It's determination that will get you through. Talk to your partner every day about where your head is at - good or bad. It will make you feel better and her appreciate your effort and understand the effects of what has happened.
Go well mate!
Congratulations on your 7 days, a week is a big thing! I am now on day 54 and I cannot believe I’ve got this far. What I’ve found the most helpful is when I’ve had any urges to gamble I close my eyes and think back to the last time where I lost a lot of money (as usual) and that feeling of utter despair and that I cannot keep going on like this. I then sit and take in how I feel right now (which is positive, proud, and optimistic for the future) it sounds really corny but this kind of short mindfulness has really helped me. For me it’s not only about stopping the physical gambling, but to try and completely change my state of mind. For the first time in 8 years I feel like I can actually do this, and I’m really enjoying seeing money in my bank too. You’ve got this! Keep attending your meetings, and take each day as a step towards your new lifeÂ
Well done for the massive steps you have taken so far in your recovery from gambling addiction. With the support from your family and G.A. meetings you will feel a weight has been lifted from your shoulders, and will allow you to continue in the pathway of honesty and full disclosure.Â
As you have stated there will be further challenges ahead and a daily check in with yourself will be required. Sometimes you may feel anxious or despondent and may even feel like returning to your old ways. But the mind is incredibly powerful and you can take control in any given circumstances.Â
Believe in yourself and value every good aspect of your life.
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