Hi all,
Just posting on here to share my story. I know that some might say 234 days is a bit abrupt to share a success story but I think it's an important post to those who are trying to nip it in the bud.
So my story goes like this.......typically always liked a flutter on the pub fruity.....no more than two or three quid here for a good ten years. Lost and walked away, sometimes won and walked away.....evened out....nothing big.
Fast forward to last November, terrible personal life events that left me crippled with a five figure debt and gambled through escapism. Saw an advert, signed up, card details in.......boom......won a decent amount. Withdrew, repeated a week later and withdrew. Now I don't feel amounts lost are comparable but tried it a third time and lost all the winnings and added another four figures to my debt within half an hour. Vowed I'd never do it again, saw a counsellor, lasted 67 days until being niave I let the barriers slip. Lost another four figures, and not the lowest amount it could be.
Came here, got amazing support and set about doing things properly. It's been 234 days since that night and the simple rule was STOP before it gets too late! I know k don't have years of compulsion and many relapses behind me but I do have the out of control nature, lost a lot of money that put me further into debt and felt hopeless, anxious, a let down and a terrible person. Couldn't eat, sleep etc wondering how I'd pay my bills and a total wreck.
In short, enough was enough and did a complete life overhaul. Stuck to blockers (in my case, K9, router controls, credit cards cut up and frozen and self exclusion to the max). But I looked at my life, made peace with my personal life and moves on, leaving this a distant memory. It took around three months to let go the money lost. It is fact, end of story.
The biggest turning point for me was imagining my life if I still gambled. It would be a train wreck. No future, and just a disappointment to whoever gets close to me. I had to change. So aside from blockers, I overhauled everything, diet, fitness, social life, personal life, work life. Got back on track. Most importantly I axed all gambling, even the couple of quid on the fruity on rare nights out or two quid on the lottery. I'm proud to say that I have not wagered a single penny on anything and nearly debt free from five figures. I used to look at people on here when starting out on day one with three hundred days gf on their counter. Great people full of great advice. I vowed to be one of those people and now I'm closing in on that. The best bit is, once making peace, I don't want to gamble, hate the industry and can't think of anything worse to do. Yes, I was never compulsive for years, but over a couple of months got out of control, took all responsibility and dealt with it. The point of this post being we all make mistakes, but continuing to make those mistakes will ruin everything. Gambling takes everything out of you and spits you out. Don't let it, be strong and love a happy, gamble free future! Take care all!
Well done and thanks for proving it can be done fairly easily in theory. I hope I can do the same real soon... about 7 days GF now lol
Great post, well done! As you said you weren't compulsive for years but this addiction is progressive as you found out all to well. Recovery is progressive too and it sounds like you are well down that path.
All the best
Well done and I hope I can get to where you are, keep it up x
Hey guys and thanks!
Hitting 240 days in 22 minutes time! Thanks for the messages. I think Sam Crow said something very very important. Gambling is progressive. A couple of quid in the pub fruity can become a huge amount later on when other vices found (in my case online slots).
A very important message when in recovery as even a pound wagered on something seemingly innocent like the office sweepstake can trigger those same desires and urges. The only way to go is simple, no gambling whatsoever! Easier said than done, but blockers up for life!
Must remember we are all only one gamble away from being back to square one!
Have fun all 🙂
Hi there,
Not sure how I came across this post but I've found it a rela boost this morning, very inspirational.
As a compulsive gambler with massive debts who has just recently admitted to myself I have a problem this is exactly what I need to do. Trying to come to terms with the fact it's gonna take years to pay back and I need to let the money go.
Hope you are doing well.
What an amazing story and thanks for sharing. Mine probably began around November a year ago , in the same boat with a 5 figure debt, blocking everything is definitely the way forward. Gambling gets you not the other way round. Day 2 for me and feeling determined.
.Hey,
I messioned to someone about gambling and talked about if for awhile afterwards I was of to the bookies and I lost everything. Sometimes talking about the matter ignites the excitement I just wish I kick the habit. The difficultly in quitting must be saving. The moment I stop gambling the moment I have money but I have never had money because of gambling. So its a double edged swored the more I prevail against gambling the more the temptation begins to increase. Whats the harm in betting a tenner when you have have 500 in the bank and the habit begins.
​for me I have a target to save and this is a time scale up until May next year.
Hey all,
Thanks for posting! Reading each and every one of your stories and then doing a bit of peeking on your forums shows all of you have a massive amount of courage and determination. It's not easy admitting a problem, especially such a destructive one and also to loved ones. But it is the best support you can get! I had to start this on my own, but having gained a partner I didn't have to tell said partner, but I did. No judgements and a happy if it happens again tell me and I will support you. That is a big reason I haven't touched it in 291 days. I don't want to let anyone else down, but I've realised I don't want to let myself down.
Set a long term goal and when you get some distance between last bet and your new life it feels amazing. After 291 days I never want to go back to that emotional roller coaster again and I'd have more to lose this time around. Stay strong! I can proudly say I e paid off £11k of debt (about a quarter accrued from gambling) and never felt better! So when you get to that stage not only are your money worries not getting worse through losses, the debts are slowly coming down!
I believe in each and every one of you and I think gambling in this level is a plague of society, but a selective plague, one I've slowly built resistance too!
Take care all!
Hi all,
So nine days off the year mark. It's not about celebrating my achievement, it's about recognising what works for you and fine tuning your recovery to stop relapses. Nearly a year on, it's funny as my attitude to gambling has completely changed but recently I did think what harm could a fiver in the pub fruity do? It would take me back to square one and secretly I didn't want to lose my day count as that is one part of my recovery that keeps me going! Also I'm not into cloak and dagger stuff so can't stand lies or doing things behind my partners back, so would instantly confess through guilt! Plus I don't want to be "that" guy again! Things are better than ever, relationships, finances, friends, family, social life, health, well being. Why go back to anything but!
This forum and the wonderful people have been amazing and essential part of recovery. It's great to see a lot of other people start their recovery this time last year and stick to it! Inspirational each and every one of you. My advice is don't tackle this alone, get support and do not ever get complacent. We are all one bet away from a life of ruin and misery. As for money lost in the past, well it's insignificant. An expensive life lesson!
Keep posting all! Keep on fighting the good fight!
Abet
well done i admire you
Well done, I'm only 119 days but already feel so much better and starting to like myself again and appreciate the little things in life that we miss when caught up in gambling. Best wishes x
Cheers!
But never say "only" 119 days! That is a huge achievement! Well done and keep going! It gets so much better 🙂
Hey all,
Just a quick update to my thread. Been gamble free for over 435 days now.
I have read on the forum almost daily and seen a lot of stuff! I did post on newbies comments a lot but also seen some seasoned veterans post some AMAZING advice so not felt the need!
From a gambler point of view, it is possible! After such a long time, after really abandoning any thoughts of gambling can do good and get me out of my financial mess, the only answer is full honesty with partner and being proactive and dealing with debts! I've gone from nearly 15k to just 3k. It sucked, was relentless but nearly all gone. A few more months and life lessons forgiven! And for me it wasn't just gambling, just debts accrued from other means and gambling attempted to relieve the debt but five grand more in debt!
From the friends and family people! We are human, dumb, make mistakes and want to turn it around! If your fella says that, or your missus then stick by them as they will need your support! Seen so much cynicism from scorned partners of gamblers. Yes it is terrible but instead of giving them a life time of trust issues, support their intentions. If it wasn't for my partner I would have never had a reason to get off the rollercoaster. IDK, seems a slip up with gambling is worth a lifetime of mistrust! We are good people dying to get away from something so self destructive!
Gambling is a no go! End of! It's doable! Don't kick someone into touch who is crying out for help! So much cynicism! Pointless when someone wants to change and needs support!
Take care all, life is great on the other side!
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