I use to live in so many fears, there ae many words that indicate fear based issues.
Anxiety stress panic the higher levels of fears caused me to go in to panic mode when I could nto think things out clearly.
The pains in my life caused fears in me that I did not understand.
I decided to write down nearly all of my fears.
Fear of rejection and or abandonment, fear of telling the truth, fear of being accountable, fear of failure, fear of intimacy, fear of being let down, fear of fear of humiliation, fear of loneliness, fear of the dentist, fear of the doctors, fear of injections, fear of betrayal, fear of disappointing people, fear of what people thought of me, fear of speaking up for myself, fear of being the victim, fear of aggression and confrontation, fear of letting people down, fear of validating myself, fear of taking a compliment, fear of the doctors, fear of the opposite s*x, fear of being committed, fear of Christmas, fear of Tax time, fear of writing my needs my wants and my goals, fear of writing down the pain and abuse I experienced in my life, fear of writing down injuries to my body, fear of writing down the emotional abuse I experienced, fear of writing down the physical abuse I experienced, fear of writing down the sexual abuse I experienced, fear of being myself, fear of my failings, fear of guilt shame regret remorse, fear of therapies, fear of being a loner, fear of setting boundaries, fear of having a voice to stand up for myself, fear of strangers, fear of healing my pains, fear of being a victim, fear of not making it, fear of people faces when they got to know me.
This list seems impossible looking at them in one lump.
Fear restricted me; fear froze me in the traumas of my past.
I took my worst fear, the 10 out of 10 and I asked myself what is the very worst that can happen.
Only once I was willing to accept the very worst that could happen would the level of my fears reduce.
Fear of me being honest was hard for me.
My hurt inner child hid in fear to stop being hurt again.
My hurt inner child learned to fear emotional intimacy.
As I got healthier and healed more and more my hurt inner child learned to open up to emotional intimacy.
The question is living in fear healthy for me today.
By learning to open up more to emotional intimacy I found that healthy intimacy with a healthy person helps me heal from the pains of my past.
My hurt inner child can come out to paly today.
I would say that all of my fears are now in single numbers since my healing started in my life.
Fear stunted my growth in every way.
How much effort do I want to put in to healing the hurt inner child in me.
Love healing and peace to every one.
Posted : 25th January 2023 1:39 pm
