Last bet 31/05/21

Good evening guys, 

Feel I just need to get my story out as I'm at a place where I'm thinking what was the point. So on 31/05/21 my ex-partner found out about my debts and payday loans that I had and decided she did not want to be a couple anymore. From that day I have not had a gamble and I'll be honest have not felt the 'urge' to have a bet. I moved out of the family home in late June to a place of my own. We share the time of our 3 children, which I find incredibly difficult even after the time that has passed. 

I was already signed up to Gamstop so my gambling hasn't been online for years, I used to 'pop' into the bookies on the way home from work or always make excuses to go to the shops for things that we didn't need so I could gamble. I would always be on my phone, checking results or what the scores were. I got in contact with MOSES and excluded myself from all the bookies within 20 miles of myself to stop myself gambling and also referred myself to Gamcare for some counselling which helped me massively as it taught me why I gambled and how it is made up of Time, Place and Money triangle and if you remove one then you won't be able to gamble. 

Like I've said I haven't had a gamble since that day and do not intend to, I intend to be a good role model for my kids now, that's my main goal. I struggle with the thought that I have 'stopped' maybe naively thinking that this would prove to my ex that I can change but this hasn't happened, so why should I stop? I came clean to my closest friends who knew it was coming and knew I had a problem but just telling them felt good to get off my chest as they all gamble themselves but now they do not talk about it infront of me and I said to them if I ever ask them to do a bet for me to say no.  

I'm 33 years old, currently in a Debt Management Plan owing 8k to various creditors with a further 2k to family, I just want young/younger people to see my story and realise that gambling will eat you up and spit you out. I have had many good day's but many many more bad days. The stakes I used to find exciting became boring so they got increased, the buzz of winning wasn't a buzz anymore, the buzz came when I lost and then had to chase to get it back, that was the thrill. The lies I told to 'cover' my tracks looking back are crazy but I believed them, but that's what I did make a lie and then another and another. 

I hope that with Paul Merson highlighting the issues with gambling many more people can speak out about there problems and seek help. 

I wish you all the best if you are struggling but being here is the first step, you can do it and no one will judge you, I promise. 

Danny