Thank you!

I won't give too many details now as my diary is logged in the diaries section but is enough to say that after 20 years of habitual hobby gambling which was occasionally expensive but ultimately controllable (and within my means), I succumbed to the insanity of compulsive gambling addiction and blew thousands of pounds worth of life savings and then got into serious debt in the space of year or two. This was mainly due to FOBTs and online gambling. Anyway ...over 4 years after first posting I am logging to say thank you to all who chipped in with support in 2011 and 2012 especially. I haven't gambled in 3 years and have turned my life around. I have no debts, have savings, have started a pension, my career is booming and my life just gets better and better. I did the usual self-excluding and trying to not have access to money but ultimately I WANTED to stop and now even if I was offered free £ to gamble I would happily decline it. I never drank alcohol or smoked and if someone offered me these vices I would refuse. Well now I feel the same about gambling. I have moments where after 20 odd years of habit a certain sporting event or problem in life causes a trigger in my brain to say "Why not have a gamble?" but I know I won't and can even have a little smile to myself. I will always be an addict but am also in control enough to know I cannot risk the slightest loss. To anyone reading this who is in that agonising state of numbness and asking themself if they can ever be free of this. Well you can. But you have to want it and be prepared to actively want it. I wanted to be a good father and couldn't bear the thought of my son knowing what I had done and asking me why it was more important for me to gamble than spend that time and money making great experiences and memories with him and his mum or saving for his future. A father said to his son: "Be careful where you walk"...The son responded: "You be careful, remember that I follow in your footsteps". I stopped wasting time and money and though it was agony to think of the time and money wasted, knowing that I wouldn't do it again was a stronger pull and got me through. I urge anyone serious about this. Do other things with your life. End destructive habits. Start new positive ones and be patient. We all want losses and debts erased immediately but this inevitably leads to more gambling. Take the slow, steady route and take your medicine. It will make you better. Zero tolerance. Now. I would not swap places with anyone else in the world. I am a winner.