The beginning

Well done for posting Adam stick with it will be best decision that you’ll ever make I’ve only stopped since the end of July I’ve got debts through gambling but I’ve got to say I’m more relaxed and level headed gambling consumed all my time now realise took a long time stay strong carly

This is so true! The money worries won’t magically disappear but gambling will only make it worse including your stress levels. Stay strong! X

Thank you for your kind responses. 

it’s the guilt and shame that are the worst for me and the fact that at the back of my head is “just one more time and win it all back and you will feel much better” 

What do you hope to achieve by telling your parents but not your wife? You can’t keep what you have done a secret forever and I’m sure you don’t expect others to bail you out, or do you?

For any recovery it requires honesty, with yourself and others. It’s secrets that take us back to the dark place of gambling. You’ll be constantly worried about her finding out, constantly checking for post that she might open, constantly thinking how can you get all that money put back? You could try winning it? Before you know it you’ve justified your behaviour because of secrets.

Don’t get me wrong, I know how hard it is to admit to someone else something that may cause the loss of a relationship or a job, but if you really want to help yourself, you have to be honest with her. Might I suggest your mum being there if you do tell her.

The money can always be earned again. Unless you’ve sold your house from under her, there’s nothing that can’t be fixed. Her trust is probably going to be the hardest thing and that takes time. 
I can only talk through my own experiences in stopping gambling. I told myself I was doing the right thing by not telling my wife and it led to more gambling. I didn’t want to hurt her and I didn’t want her to leave me. I hurt her anyway eventually and she left me eventually, although not the first few times I had to admit something to her. She left after the 7th or 8th time of me relapsing and the police getting involved. Initially she was very supportive, despite the setback my gambling caused to our marriage and relationship.

I had to give up for myself. Unfortunately it took me five odd years after she had left before I got it. I hope you don’t waste your life or her life by not getting it sooner.

Chris.

Posted by: @adam92

Hello all,

 

I hope you don’t mind me posting on here as I am not a success story.

I am a compulsive gambler who in the last three years has gambled and lost close to £300k. 

My story begins around 15 years ago when I gambled small amounts with friends playing poker. This then went on to sports betting and before I knew it I was waking up at 2AM and putting 5 grand on Brazilian football.

I have just had a weeks splurge where I lost all mine and my wife’s life savings. I gambled 90k in three days in a period of absolute lunacy.

im both in shock and feelings of guilt and that there is no way forward.

I have told my parents but cannot tell my wife as she is due to give birth to our third child and she will leave me.

The reason I post this on success stories is for the first time in my life I am determined to quit. I have set up counselling beginning on Friday and have excluded from everywhere.

I am now 3 days without betting. This is obviously a very small amount and each day and hour goes painfully slowly and I can’t stop thinking about going back in to a bookmaker but this forum has been a god send and I hope people don’t mind that every week I will add on that I am gamble free if I manage to do it.

3 days so far and hopefully the rest of my life ahead.

feeling slightly less suicidal daily but the guilt and shame won’t go.

best

 

Adam 

Hey Adam 

I feel you mate I've lost about 60k in 6 months, crazy amount I can't even focus at work.

@chris-uk Completely understand what you are saying but the fear of losing her is too great for me right now. I hope one day to be honest and open, but I am a coward and know the consequences having done this previously. 

@dylan11 Hi Dylan, thanks for responding. My losses were all in the big bookmakers. Walking in and putting money on the football machines and choosing random games. 

Pains me to think how stupid I could be and how I have thrown away my childrens future. 

I read on these success stories how people go 30 years without gambling. For me at the moment one day is an achievement. I worry as I know it lurks in me like a monster. I really wouldnt wish this on anyone, as we all know it consumes and destroys everything within ones self. 

@adam92 totally agree, I rarely buy clothes for my daughter let alone myself. I had a theory I can easily make £100 a day if I'm clever,  next thing you know win or lose I'm betting on anything in play.  My mortgage has recently gone up and is going up and I think how the hell am I gonna pay this. My wife knows about my gambling but not the full story/extent. I'm 38, worked since 18 have 0 money and debt. I stopped gambling for maximum 2 months during 2020 but daily since again.  One friends money too and just don't have it to pay them. I think if I stop now how can I pay everything and hope for that win...

Hi Adam, what encourages you at the end that makes you quit? 
I’m with a gambling boyfriend and really want to help him, but I really don’t know what to do

hope you dont mind to share

Let's see you get to 10 days chief! This site is somewhere I can go when I get the urges to use slots again, always makes me think about how bad of an idea it is. No matter how hard it is, you can't quit now

Adam,

I am confused by your continued posts. The first time you had lost 100k, the 2nd post you lost 150k, now you have lost 300k. 

You came on & posted this only last week & you have massive support from everyone. 

Now you have come on & said you have spent another 90k over the weekend on the back of everyone’s support. 

It’s clear you aren’t taking this addiction seriously enough to want to stop & your stories are not consistent to your previous posts last week. 

I believe you are wasting our time by the continued different stories you are posting. 

@c17ort I am sorry for the confusion it was not my intention or meaning.

I have lost over 300k in my lifetime leaving me in severe debt. I gambled 90k in the space of the week and 150k in the last six months.

My aim here is to get support and the members have been amazing.

I am sorry for not explaining better and I’ll work on this going forward 

@beefychieff thank you my friend. Day 4 today. Feelings of guilt and loss is still there but today is another day. 

@santamikayla I am the wrong person to ask for advice as I am still recovering and have done nothing yet.

for me the final straw was how it made me feel, I was losing the sense of being a person and was hurting those around me with mood swings and missing important events.

You would need to ask someone who has actually quit but for me it comes down to the individual if they don’t want to quiet themselves they won’t.

I woke up this morning with an urge to win that money back. I’m fighting it and will continue to do so. 

I hope you and your boyfriend find peace and he wins his battle my friend