You can do this

Well, I haven't been here for a long time. Truth be told, I haven't needed to either, but occasionally I think back to how this place helped me overcome my problem and those lovely people I came across here who helped me on my recovery journey. My last bet of any kind was in late 2015 (not long after my last post here - i won't make the same mistake again). In reality though, my last major problem gambling period though was over three years ago.

I still have my moments where I feel like gambling but all I do is remember the pain this caused me. It cost me a lot, but the main issue was the escaping of reality. Instead of facing my problems, I got a high off gambling to block it all out. My gambling days are a mad blur. I still can't believe I was like that. I felt possessed. Some madness gripping me and egging me on till I lost it all. By the end, I just played to lose. It was self-inflicted misery. Like I was cutting myself. Running through my mind during those horrible days were the words “self-sabotage.” The worst of it was I began to not look after myself whilst I had this problem. I smoked like mad , stayed up for hours and hours, my diet became poor, I lost an interest in exercise, put the work I was doing on the backburner and then gradually wound up more messed up than I was to begin with. It became my addiction and in time I realized, it needed to end. I came here and sorted myself out. With time, support and my diary, I did it.

Life is better without problem gambling this I know. I wish anyone fighting this battle the best, it's definitely a day at a time thing, early on, then after a while it's just like - that's your past. You can do this.

Friends who helped me here – Thank you!

From JamesP, who first lent me support in the new members forum to all the great people who offered support, care and friendship in the recovery diaries forum. Bless you all.

- Alex