Smartphone addiction

I know I would get withdrawal symptoms if I wasnt on the internet. Ive just bought a new smart phone but I dont think I am highly addicted on the scale of things.

I got up this morning had a coffee and went straight on a well known candy game. I dont buy anything to proceed though as I dont do in app purchases. There is no denying it is very addictive but is it harmful? Its interesting that I seem in control about in app purchases as I detest them. I spent about 80p in data charges downloading it so its no biggy

I have spent all night playing a console game I cant put down. However thats not spending £700 like I used to do in a couple of gambling sessions. A computer game is value for money entertainment and I dont play on a work night when Ive got to be up early so no problems.

I like smart phones but I dont feel addicted in a harmful way. I think we are all on the scale of addiction to something. we seek pleasure and ways to fill our time on this earth.

I have never gambled online. I will get a bit bored with this phone pretty soon and it wont be used much. Its not for the social media and its mainly games that I use on it. Its nice having it in case I need to look up something when away from the home computer

I dont really worry about my minor compulsions as I see them. The internet would be a problem if it was distracting me from my work or costing me too much money

I know what you mean though and I do slightly worry in that I pontificate a lot and when I should be going out I will sometimes settle back down on the computer like its some stress soother or escape. I feel I live in a dull grey town and the computer like most things I do is an escape from that

I tend to see it that we are all looking for a fix of some sort. Its just that gambling was a particularly nasty one that I couldnt control and which sent me way over the edge

I suppose Im quite glad Ive bought a new smart phone because at the height of my gambling addiction I wasnt buying anything much

best wishes to everyone on the forum

I think its the box of S***e analogy. We as addicts, even when we have succesfully emptied the box of our current distraction, feel an overwhelming need to fill it right back up with something else. Heaven forbid it lays empty.
Because we are emotionally immature we fill it up with whatever seems easiest. Food, s*x , social media, the gym, alcohol, whatever as long as it seems we are doing something!

The answer lies in purpose & values & connection.

Why is it you find being alone with me, myself & I so uncomfortable?

What could give you a reason to make a difference tomorrow to someone?

Are you prepared to sacrifice the comfort you have today to be better tomorrow?

What do you stand for Louis?

Thanks jd and Dan.

I work 4 days a week so that I can look after my son. This is something I value hugely, and I'm happy to take the financial hit to do so.

Yet often when this day comes, throughout the day there's a constant itch to escape on my phone. Pretty messed up and makes me sad writing that.

But on the other hand. It's hard looking after a 1 year old and the more tired I am the harder it is to deal with the present moment. And I guess there's also my predisposition towards/learned behaviour of, avoidance. So there's no point in beating myself up. Better instead to commit to change.

Yesterday, after posting (which was a day with my son), I stayed away. Noticeably had a great day. Might be coincidence but might not be.

I'm glad you posted re values Dan, as that intuitively sounds right. I firmly believe in a values based approach to gambling addiction. Maybe I was thinking smartphone addiction didn't warrant this approach as it's not serious enough.

Writing this out has confirmed that it is. Values are applicable to every aspect of life.

Cheers

Louis

I tend to think you are over worrying but Im glad you are questioning things. I think there are lots of people who find the internet more compulsive than I do. Its compulsive but I find it a good thing in my life overall.

We are human and we are a body of chemical compulsions in my view. Its just that the gambling dens know how to prey on this and milk it for all its worth

By the way I have just deleted that game because it did feel very much like forced gambling to me. There was no real skill to it just luck and the game has been criticised by many as being a cynical cash grab. I am in control there but that feeling of will I be lucky is deep within the human psyche.

Perhaps I should say will it go right for me because scientists will tell you there is no such thing as luck.

Anyway there are lots of compulsions but I dont see any in my life that are on the scale of my previous gambling addiction. I dont feel I am rattling or substituting other things.

Best wishes

Hi JD

I respectfully disagree that I'm over-worrying.

Now that I've acknowledged this addiction and am being mindful of the 'addictive processes' (ie - thoughts and urges which push towards usage), I can see the alarming extent of what I'm dealing with. And I can see what mastery this has over me. Actually I'm not sure I like that way of talking - this idea that the addiction is the 'other' and I'm the innocent person under attack from addiciton. I read that all the time on here and think that's b0llo. Addiction hasn't mastered me. I just have strong needs.

Don't get me wrong, its not gambling- addiction bad. But the exact same processes are in play. The exact same 'reason giving' to justify a bit of action. "It's been a while', 'I've been good' - are some of the addictive thoughts I've been having.

Really interesting and slightly humerous to be back in this position. Thinking I'd come out the other side and left all this behind. Thinking that I NOW have sufficient self-awareness and self-control to not find myself under the spell again.

Yet all the time it was there. That thing that I devote so much of my day to. It wasn't so much hiding as staring in my face throughout the day.

And now I know it's there, and am resisting, I realise how massive it is. Already, how much more time I now have in these past few days. I also notice the new, non-smart phone urges which come up in the place of the previous urges. I put on the TV during the day, today, which I never do. Must. have. a. distraction. But I also spoke to family and friends today. I actually wanted to phone these people rather than felt I ought to.

Funnily enough, I was chatting to a mate today about my realisation. He's never had an addiction I was aware of - and listened to what I was saying. But then said, yeah, that's the exact same with me.

Quite weirdly I'm enjoying facing the addiction. That sense of de-misting can be invigorating.

Yes ok I understand and just dont know what to say really.

I think we are all on the scale of addiction to various things. I like collecting nostalgia items....do I go overboard?..... some would say yes. I dont really think so as there is an end to it and its only in certain areas.

I dont see the internet as my problem though. I dont even take my phone out with me most days. I do probably spend too long on the computer but it keeps me occupied and I can break off when something else appeals to me.

This has made me think though and I generally know my faults which include substituting material possessions for human relationships.

All I know at the moment is that Im glad to be tackling an addiction which could take hundreds of pounds off me per session.

Any other addictions I have seem minor in comparison but you are right that I need to keep aware

I dont put the telly on in the day though.That is a bad one 🙂

All the best to you

cardhue wrote:

I know there's a similar thread about 'other addictions', but I wanted to focus on this. Apparently it's called nomophobia.

I'm clearly addicted to my smartphone/the internet. It's bugging me more and more. I haven't gambled now for a long time, but this other addiction is becoming the elephant in the room. A quick online test tells me I have 'moderate nomophobia'.

I go on: news websites, sports websites, my mutliple email accounts (including work), this forum and another unrelated one, some twitter. Weirdly I don't feel compuslive towards FB but feel kind of dirty after going on FB, so that I kind of find it repulsive and there's little pull. Shame that same feeling didn't attach to gambling or the other smartphone stuff.

It's got some key differences from gambling addiciton. I think the main things are it's RELATIVELY low harm and also I would guess most people have this addiction, to some degree of the spectrum, particularly below a certain age. But still doesn't make it OK. I'm pi44ing loads of time away on it. There's the whole data collection and tracking thing, which is terrifying. But maybe worst I'm needing constant distraction rather than being able to sit with myself. Or, it's just not great to be addicted to something.

I know for a lot of people the problem is the compulsion to check out what other people are doing online all the time. I don't think that's the case for me. I think for me it's more the need for distraction from temporary boredom. Even though I'm more busy than I've ever been. But, as with when I was gambling, I didn't really find the 'act' stimulating. Mostly it really is just a habit.

Another difference from gambling, is that a smartphone/the internet is actually useful in many respects. Contrast with cutting out gambling, where there's literally no downside to it at all (and for anyone still addicted - that internal chatter about what you'll miss out on if you stop gambling, really does just melt away after a while).

So what's the solution? If I adopt the same approach as to gambling, then I just cut it out completely. But this would be a real loss of function -eg, maps, or buying stuff online, or (ocassional use of) email. I suppose I need a set of rules about when to use it.

Anyone else trying to tackle this with any tips?

Louis

cardhue wrote:

Hi

I can see the alarming extent of what I'm dealing with. And I can see what mastery this has over me. Actually I'm not sure I like that way of talking - this idea that the addiction is the 'other' and I'm the innocent person under attack from addiciton. I read that all the time on here and think that's b0llo. Addiction hasn't mastered me. I just have strong needs.

Don't get me wrong, its not gambling- addiction bad. But the exact same processes are in play. The exact same 'reason giving' to justify a bit of action. "It's been a while', 'I've been good' - are some of the addictive thoughts I've been having.

Louis

I have found this whole thread but particularly segments like this to be incredibly thought-provoking and insightful. Thanks Louis. I totally agree with your candid understanding of addiction and the various ways it manifests + am in admiration of your level of self-awareness and understanding. Just because an addictive tendency would be considered the 'norm' or 'socially acceptable' doesn't mean that the addictive nature of the tendency is nullified.

I also have strong needs. Which I've realised after reading this post. Also I am not so much a victim, I just have strong needs and life is an ongoing quest to stay in control of my feelings and needs, which has also dawned on me after reading this post. Many many thanks.

Things that aren't actually damaging are only addictions if they get in the way of job/family etc.

Spending a lot of time on your phone playing free games or spending time on Twitter/Instagram when there is nothing better to do isn't something I'd class as addiction, much like dedicating 2 hours per day to the gym isn't addiction.

If you start spending all your time at work on your phone and start missing deadlines, get disciplined and so on because of it, then yes in my opinion. Or if you were meant to be babysitting but left a crying baby in another room because you were so into your phone game then yes. But the OP in this thread doesn't say that it's hindering work time/family time so I wouldnt use the term addiction.

If we are going to start using the word addiction too loosely, then literally every hobby you could do would be an addiction! Don't use a word that has negative connotations for things that are perfectly fine IMO!

r99c wrote:

Things that aren't actually damaging are only addictions if they get in the way of job/family etc.

Spending a lot of time on your phone playing free games or spending time on Twitter/Instagram when there is nothing better to do isn't something I'd class as addiction, much like dedicating 2 hours per day to the gym isn't addiction.

If you start spending all your time at work on your phone and start missing deadlines, get disciplined and so on because of it, then yes in my opinion. Or if you were meant to be babysitting but left a crying baby in another room because you were so into your phone game then yes. But the OP in this thread doesn't say that it's hindering work time/family time so I wouldnt use the term addiction.

If we are going to start using the word addiction too loosely, then literally every hobby you could do would be an addiction! Don't use a word that has negative connotations for things that are perfectly fine IMO!

Bit arbitrary your definition of what classes as an addiction. I think you're confusing addiction with toxicity. Some addictions are relatively benign - like social media use or smartphone use. Other addicitons, like opiods or gambling are really destructive. But there is still an addictive quality in play in all of these behaviours.

I certainly think that going to the gym can be addictive. People get addicted to endoprhin rushes through exercise. It's a LOT better than gambling, but there similar process going on. It's no surprise that a lot of people on here 'hit the gym' with a vengance, when they stop gambling.

I totally get that smartphone addiction is not a priority to someone who is a gambling addict, and I did pre-face this in the OP. That said, it is relevant to people with addictive personalities - and the risk of replacing one form of avoidance with another. And the issue of what you are trying to escape from.