I’ve seen a lot of posts here about people telling their partners about their gambling etc. but was wondering if anyone has experienced telling a new partner about their addiction when they have been gamble free for a while (I.e. you haven’t gambled at all for extended time before you met them).
I can see it being important for someone to know if the relationship becomes serious but it feels like there are so many questions/issues to consider. How early/late into dating a new person would you wait to tell them? Has anyone experienced it being an absolute deal breaker for a new partner?
Hi
Sadly because we are addicts we live in an unhealthy state of mind.
Being in the recovery will help us abstain for longer periods of time.
The fear of being honest use to gets o great that I use to go into a state of panick where I could not think or make healthy choices.
We tend to think that living in fear and lies we can hde things from our partners.
By being honest to our self in the rooms we then get honest to our self.
By the time I walked in to recovery room I did not know or understand how unstable I was.
Why not tell our partners, again fear or regret was huge with me, it indicated abandonment issues from my child hood.
Sadly the biggest rejection was emotional abandonment.
My wife asked if she could ask me every day if I gambled, I agreed to this and it worked out very well for us.
Was I compulsive gambler, every knew the answer except my self.
The word recovery I ot to understand was about abstainig from addictions first then over time heal from teh paisn fo our past and also heal the hurt inner child.
I have been in recovery over 50 years and found that the healthiest recovery room was one that gave honest deep therapies.
Being in recovery room I found that talking about money lost or being in action was not healthy for me or the room.
The healthier people in the recovery room would help me help my self.
In time I would stop reacting in such unhealthy was and trying to hide my fears.
Please stick with you being in the recovery room it is a life saver.
Love peaace and healing.
Dave L
AKA Dave of Beckenham
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