Since stopping gambling 2 months ago, the anxiety is mainly coming from the guilt and worry that if my parents or gf find out I could lose them and the shame would be too much. But also my anxiety is due to the different life events I have coming up this year that I need to pay for. Yes my money is growing each month again but I’m still not in a place where I can feel like my life is better. I still don’t feel present and I am just letting life pass me by and it’s not a way to live and I just want this feeling to be over, I have suffered enough and learned my lesson. My main worry just now is that my car is fully paid off and is worth about 12k, and I am looking to sell and pcp a car, however I am worried due to my bank statements having a big loss on them 2 months ago I won’t get accepted. But this money would be a huge help and I feel would get my life back on track, so I am desperate to get it done but am putting it off due to being knocked back. Any help or advice?Â
thanks.
Firstly, well done for staying gamble free for the last two months. The anxiety you're feeling will subside and where's the shame in finding the willpower to stop gambling altogether? That's something you should be proud of and I'm sure your parents and gf would see it that way too.Â
As regards a pcp. All reputable lenders will do a credit check and that might be a problem like you say, but it's still possible to get such finance with a bad credit score, albeit interest may be higher. Some will perform a softer check first to gauge whether you're likely to be accepted and that won't effect your credit score at all.Â
What could swing things your way is the fact your current car is paid off in full and that shows any potential lender you are capable of making regular payments. That must count for something. Also being able to put down a sizeable deposit towards your new car - given yours is worth £12k - has to help your chances of getting finance too.Â
Would it really hurt to keep your current car a bit longer and until your bank statements are looking more stable?Â
Just try not to get too down on yourself about things. Life might feel like it's passing you by but it's still early days in your recovery and you're in a considerably better place now than you were just two months ago.Â
@jsna5pr2yg thanks for your supporting reply mate. Tbh I do understand it would be best to wait a couple more months until my statements are looking clean again, which I might just do. The problem is I have a lot of stuff coming up this year and the main one for me was proposing to my girlfriend. I still believe I can make it happen in the timeframe I want, but selling the car would be a massive help in this. So do you see my predicament and stress! As I don’t think I will get accepted for a new car but want to sell my current car and ‘cash in’ on this. I’m just a bit lost and not sure what the right move is, as if it doesn’t go the way I want it to, it could mess things up even more.
@gbt804pchj I get that you're feeling this way right now. Buying a new car and proposing to your girlfriend are ways of moving on from your gambling past and starting afresh. Fair comment?Â
@jsna5pr2yg thanks mate. Yeah I am definitely realising I am being too harsh on my self which in turn is making it harder to move on. It is just the guilt and regret that is making me feel so bad. I also realise I am in an okay position now, I just need to keep on building from this. But yeah as I said it’s just the guilt and regret and now anxiety due to this that is just taking over my life. Even after 2months clean I’m still like this.
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