Hi just looking for some advice please.
I found out my husband of 6 years had a gambling problem at the end of last year, he's spent around £60k in the last few years and is in about £10k worth of debt. Luckily we are only renting and everything is in my name.
I check all statements etc but don't have control of his money. As far as I can tell he hasn't gambled since, he has done all the right things like get counselling but the trust has totally gone and I still feel so much anger 8-9 months on. Is that normal?
It's got to the point where I think I'm only still with him as it's the easy option and because I feel sorry for him not because I love him. I'm not sure im strong enough to leave and cut all ties.
Has anyone done this and is there light at the end of the tunnel?
Hi I asked my partner to leave, in my view it is my responsibility to protect myself from his lies. I am expecting him to be responsible for his actions but he is very angry with me, I think he just thought things would go back to normal. Now he won't speak to me anymore and makes out I meant nothing to him. This all happened recently and it hurts like hell but I feel better in myself that I haven't accepted this situation and I am now safe from the chaos he was creating around me. I am reading a book called 'Rebuilding when your relationship ends' it has alreadt helped me whatever the outcome.
Thank you for the response, I'm sorry to hear that. I admire your strength and bravery making that decision.
I do worry that if I ask for a divorce I would get a similar reaction and it would get quite messy.
I agree with your view about being responsible to protect ourselves, I initially thought it would be ok as I was protected financially but there's so much more to it than being financially secure
Thank you again, appreciate the response
Hi Paula have you sought some counselling too? This is a devastating addiction and we get damaged along the way. Call gamcare and see if they can help, or go to a gamanon meeting and get some support. I go, it really helps. Is he showing you in other ways that he's stopped? It's a tough road and we all have doubts. Unfortunately you can't control whether they gamble or not. You have to learn to let it go. Don't help him pay his debts that's his issue. Keep talking on here, it helps too!
That's very normal 15 years on and I'm angry. Mainly because of a lost life..the life you thought you would be living when you married or committed to someone. The lies and lost trust is hard as everyone says and what I am learning is look after yourself. Take care and don't blame yourself for how you feel
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