Hi everyone,
My partner is a gambler, before we met he went to a gambling rehab for 3 months which done him the world of good and he didn’t gamble for a year.
However he hasn’t continued any kind of therapy and relapses quite often, I have control of the finances but there has been some occasions where he has got money.
He gambled £1,400 on Xmas eve when he was meant to be Xmas shopping he then borrowed the money to not ruin Xmas. He told me about it last Saturday and since then he seems like he is on a downward spiral and so am I!
I have explained that for us to move forwards he needs to want to get better and make changes to help himself. Yesterday it was my 30th birthday he took me for a meal, I found it hard to just forget everything but I tried to just enjoy the evening he got quite drunk very quickly and it seemed as though he was is self destructive mode he was loud in the restaurant several times and I explained he was embarrassing me, he then got quite nasty and demanded I have him the keys to our house so he could leave he said he would show me up if I didn’t. He had my card and withdrew £200 luckily I got it back before he managed to do anything.
I love him and I know I do a lot to help him as in controlling the finances and supporting him to help himself and I know it has to come from him. I just find it so hard when he turns everything on me and can be very nasty. Any advise or shared stories would be much appreciated thank you
Hi jade part of his rehabilitation may have been a 12 step program. He can find this at GA. You can get help at gamanon. He has addictive behaviour and obviously that is also affected by alcohol. If you have control of finances he should not be allowed money or cards unless he supplies a receipt. I buy my own Christmas presents or he has small amounts of cash. It doesn't sound like he wants to stop. His behaviour is not good. If he gets nasty he's using fear to manipulate you. This will get worse. Why are you putting up with this? He shouldn't be able to get your card, or know the PIN number. I would suggest changing it immediately. This isn't your responsibility to get him well or sort his finances and then get abuse for it. Gamcare offer counselling, call them and talk to someone.
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