Another chance or over for good.

Hey I just wanted to give a bit of an update for anyone who may be feeling as I did. We are one year without a bet!!! I say we as we are very much in this together now. This year has been the toughest year of my life, the ups and downs have been real.. but I'm greatful to be in a much better place. GA helped enormously. He goes twice weekly and after every meeting we have a debrief, we chat about the topic and how relatable it is or isn't to him. We've spoken more this past year than we probably have the last 14 years together. For him it's the therapy part he needed, and for me having him in a type of therapy I never knew I needed him to be in. He's learning about himself and I'm trying to learn who he is now and understand why he gambled. I still have control of the finances, go through his banking, emails and web history. Rebuilding the trust has been very difficult for me but I have noticed I'm not checking as frequently as I was before. For the longest time just looking at him made me feel physically sick, is behaviour disgusted me. It's hard to believe I stuck by him and actually have a pretty good relationship with him now. We are by no way over it yet (if we ever can be) but we are slowly taking steps in the right direction. He spent the year tackling his debt, took on a few part time jobs outside of his normal job to help get us back on track, we are not debt free yet but I see the effort he is going to for me and our kids and that's what I'm holding on to. We can't go back and I'm tired of looking back and holding onto anger. This year we've agreed to look forward, continue talking and growing together. Like I said we are only one year in so only at the beginning of this journey but myself and him both know if he goes back to gambling I'm gone for good but so far I'm glad I gave him the chance x