Any happy endings

From my pov, I gambled a lot of my student loans, savings etc in my previous relationship. It did damage the relationship quite a lot. Days when I lost money I felt sh.t and kept having short tempers which at the end of the day pushes the partner away even more. 

You really need to have a sit down with your partner and discuss everything. If he promises you he won't gamble and doesn't then you can move on from there. But the addiction is the hardest to break out of it. 

Goodluck 

Hi, I secretly gambled for over 5 years before my wife found out and by that time I had lost well over £50k. This was devastating for her but probably the best thing that could have happened because I wouldn't have stopped by myself. We have been married over 30 years and with the help of gamcare and some counselling they arranged slowly things began to get better. My wife came to terms with it by looking at it as an illness I was recovering from. She immediately took over all our finances, cancelled my debit card and put a stop on gambling with our bank. I put all the blocks in place to stop me if any urges arose but, once found out I had no reason to continue chasing that big win to repair what I had done. Today I am over 900 days gamble free, my wife still has full control of our finances and we are happy. The past will always be there but we have moved forward together rebuilding our relationship and I am better mentally than I have been for many years. So yes there are positive outcomes but I will always be a recovering gambler and will have all the blockers in place forever. 

Just my experience but please try and look forward and rebuild.

All the best

Hey lovely I know your pain, my hubby is one year off a bet and honestly it's been the toughest year of my life but I'm very slowly starting to feel better about things. I kicked him out at first because I couldn't get over the lies. After a while I took him back on the understanding he gave all financial control to me, attended meetings twice a week and blocked all gambling sites etc. He's done what we agreed and we are VERY slowly rebuilding the trust but I won't lie it's been tough. I'm in a very different headspace to were I was this time last year, I think I'm starting to see a future for us and after a year of doubt I'm greatful I gave him this chance to show he can change. We are only one year in to his recovery so can't offer much help on long term but I hope this helps a little x

Hi.

I've just logged back in after a while due to having to change my password. 

I'm now 1653 days gamble free. In that time, I've regained MOST of the trust of my wife, had another child, remortgaged, changed jobs, bought a campervan and motorbike, but most of all, not gambled. not a single penny. 

I've arrived at the point that for 99% of the time, I don't even think about it. Not to say that I don't occasionally think about maybe having a cheeky pop on to online slots, chucking a few quid in a fruity in the pub, maybe an ACCA on the footy etc, but I am in control of the impulses now. 

I don't think I can say I'm cured and it's a happy ending, because it will always be in me somewhere. Do I think I'll ever gamble again? No.

Do I understand that I will be a gambling addict until the day I die? Yes. 

Its certainly a happy recovery so far, and you and your hubby will get there with support and love for each other. 

Wishing you and everyone reading this all the best in your journey. 

Matt

Hi Winky

Please read my post here:

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/forum/family-friends/hope-warning-long-post/

I wish you all the best.

P