Hi everyone. Have been reading over stories on this site for a few weeks now and has really helped me, as did calling the helpline, finally found courage to post my story.
I found out four weeks ago my boyfriend of 3 years had a gambling addiction.. In the week leading up to me finding out he had been acting really strangely and I knew something was wrong. He told me many lies that week about what was bothering him
and none of them sat right with me, I knew there was something else so I checked his internet history and messages without him knowing (I know I shouldn't have but i was at breaking point), which he was always very secretive about, where I found betting sites and group messages all about gambling. Even up to the point when I told him I knew he still told me he didn't know what I was talking about... It was only when I said horse racing he came out and said he had been gambling and had a problem. Turns out he had been doing it for 9 months and had told me endless lies... I love him so much tho and went through feelings of hurt, anger, confusion, pain... I just wanted to help him through it all. However the first week after we found out it was me saying let's close down all your accounts, then me telling him to contact GA.. He wasn't doing it for himself which now I know more know wasn't helping.
He then all of a sudden told me one night when I got home that he needed a break from our relationship. Said that he needed to focus on his own demons before he could focus on us... I don't get this tho... Would u not want someone there by your side helping you through? I left for a few days before Christmas to give him space but when I got back he had told me he had spoken to GA who told him that he gambled because he was unhappy about something else in his life, and he had now decided that this was our relationship.. Don't get me wrong we have our arguements as do any other couple but not once have I thought or got the impression that he wasn't happy with me, we've always had a rly rly strong relationship so this for me is completely out of the blue which is why I'm finding t so difficult. Anyway things went from bad to worse and we are now taking time apart with no contact what so ever and it has broken my heart. I just want to help him through this. Has anyone else had this experience being continuously pushed away? He says he wants to find his way back to me but doesn't know if he can.. Meanwhile I'm left in limbo wondering where his head is at and hurting so badly, because for me this is compeley out of the blue. Do you think he is avoiding the main issue of his gambling and putting the blame on our relationship instead...? What do I do? Would appreciate all advice.... Thanks.
Your bf is continuing to lie. Under no circumstances would GA tell him that. Of course there are underlying issues your bf has that make him want to lose his emotions through gambling, it is a very complex issue that takes lots of hard work to understand. I would be very surprised if an advisor from GA told him anything other than to attend a meeting.
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