hi I'm new to this so not quite sure what to write so sorry if I babble on. I've been with my partner for three years now and he's always had the odd bet online on horses. But recently it's increased a lot. A few months back he gambled hundreds away including his dad's winnings ( he puts his dad's bets on through his online account). He then started betting more to try and win the money back but kept on loosing. He than started asking me for money and I at the time said he could have £20 ( I didn't know he had lost all his dad's and his money at this point) he said was enough. However he took The 20 but then kept adding more from my bank account adding up to about £200 on the one day. Needless to say I was very annoyed and told him not to take money out my account again and that he needed to tell his dad that he had gambled his money away. He then told me he coulnt tell his dad as he would go mental. After gambling more money away over the next few weeks head eventually found out that my partner had lost his money and my partner said he was going to stop betting. Which he did for a week or so. His betting has now increased yet again and he's betting on everything he can online taken £449 out of my account with out sayalone and about another £600 out of his. When I questioned him about it he tried to deny it even after I showed him the proof. He the. Yet again said he would stop but was stil on his phone constantly looking at flash scores and on coral and said he was only looking. I questioned how much he had bet that day and reluctantly said £60 but hid his phone when he was looking. I didn't trust what he was saying so wrongfully I signed into his account and saw he had spent £167 but he still denied it. His mood changes constantly when he is betting and if he looses he becomes very angry flips at the slightest thing. If he's not been able to bet and a team or horse wins that he had a feeling about he goes mental. He says he bets cause he has nothing to do and that he doesn' drink or smoke so it's ok. When I said I think you need to stop or cut back he says it's not that easy to stop and compares it to me smoking. I said I'm addicted to smoking and questions if he was addicted to gambling and he said "no I've not got a problem I can pick and choose when I bet" and said I'm the one with the problem. Am I just over thinking things or does anyone else think heras a problem? Sorry for babbling on loads lol
Hi Linzi , I would def say He has a problem ! . He's already said It's not that easy to stop , which prob means He can't ? . First thing is to look after yourself and protect yourself . Dont allow him anymore access to your money because he will only keep losing more and more , Its not at all like you smoking ! unless your spending the same amount on cigaretes ? and I can't really see that happening !! . But unless he wants to change and is ready to give up gambling , you just need to take care of yourself until then . Good luck and take care . Alan
Hi Linzi, and welcome to the forum. I've moved your post to the family and friends section because I think there it's more likely to be seen by others who have been in a similar position to you.
It does sound as though your partner is not able to pick and choose if and when he gambles. If he were, he would have been able to stop himself from stealing from you. A lot of his behaviour is consistent with problem gambling - mood swings, anger, stealing money, lying.
As Alan said, you need to take care of yourself. Protect your bank account from him. Change your online password and the PIN for your card. And please give us a call on the GamCare helpline or chat to us on the Netline - contact details are at the top of this page.
Take care,
Forum Admin
This is the exact problem I am in, except my boyfriend spent £4000 on his mums account, payed it all back and is using his own money and credit cards now. I don't want to tell his mum I want to try and help him myself but even this is bigger than myself, and I need advice, quickly.
Secrets and lies are natural bedfellows for gambling. Honesty and sharing are the bright light they really don't want.
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