Hi,
My husband is a compulsive liar when it comes to hiding his gambling. It has gotten so bad that he would rather me think he was cheating than admit to what he is really doing!
It had come to a head this weekend. He admitted he has a gambling addiction finally. (I have known this for a while however he earns really good money and all bills get paid with money left to spare each week even after he has been gambling) He works nights and there is a massive gambling community between the men in his shift. I have never met any of them but he has openly admitted this.
He has blocked himself from all the sites he has access to but has said he does this a couple of hours after setting up the account. He will then just go and look for a new site to use.
He has given me his bank and credit cards and is ringing to report them as lost so he cannot use them from stored information on his phone.
We have a baby due in 12 weeks, not trying to turn this into a sob story, but I know a family is all he has ever wanted. I don’t want my child being brought into a destructive relationship that is based on lies. I certainly don’t want my child to develop those traits or see its mother being a doormat!
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Roxy
Hi roxy you have got a lot to deal with. Emotions all the over the place. Compulsive gambling is a very difficult addiction to beat, especially if he is in a group at work, working nights! All opportunities to hide and for you not to notice. Earning good money but throwing it down the drain. It's progressive and therefore could get beyond affordable. Protect yourself, your finances and sanity. He may well order new cards and get them sent somewhere else. I have been fooled many times and know the behaviour. He can sign up to gamstop, hand over finance, go to GA, but won't be able to because he works nights. Some larger cities have a GA meeting during the day. You need to look after you, keep your finances separate. Find a gamanon meeting if you can.
Hi Roxanne,
My advice to you would be to get yourself some support and don’t try and deal with this all on your own. Even more importantly you need to educate yourself on this addiction. As MRG says gamanon is a great place to go to get advice from people who have been where you are now. You can also call gamcare and speak to someone there.
A gambler will say or do anything to not have to face the consequences of their actions….as a gambler I know that from experience. So at the moment I wouldn’t believe anything that is being said to you without proof.
Damo
Thank you to both of you for your advice. He has given me full control of his bank and credit card accounts and given me access to his online banking.
I will definitely look at finding a gamanon meeting that I can go to. The most annoying this I find is that we are both really into sport and it seems that every advert that come on during the programme is betting related! Until all.of this blew up I didn't really notice it and I think it is poor that companies are able to do this but that is for another day!
Again, thank you both for your advice
Roxy
Dear Roxanne9,
Merry go round and ITDamo have kindly offered some excellent advice, particularly regarding the support that Gam Anon can offer. You may also wish to contact us for more support free on the Helpline 0808 8020 133 or the Netline.
Best Wishes,
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