Ive been with my partner for 6 years, we have two children.. the problem started while i was pregnant with my first. He would leave the house early in the morning for milk or whatever & would not return until tea time telling me he had lost 'X' amount of money.. this went on for about a year until it got to the point where we couldnt pay our rent and his mum had to bail us out.. at that point id had enough i researched for hours to try and find a solution, he refused GA meetings so we went to the GP, who literally palmed us of with antidepressants and said it would pass. I had to foght with the surgery for months before getting a refferal for cognitive behavioural therapy which he then refused as he thought the problem had passed. Everything was good & under control we went to all the bookies where he got himself excluded for a period of 3 years.. then pregnant with my youngest i found him doing it online on his phone as he racked up massive bills on his credit cards so i took a large loan out to get the bills down, again i thought it was under control.. now the problem has started again, his brother is also a gambler but these last few weeks everytime he looses whatever amount he goes out of his way to tell my partner which has sort of pushed him into it again, now the last few times hes been in he has won quite an amount of money and doesnt think theres a problem but thats how it used to be to him it was only a problem when he was loosing not winning.. i dont know what i can possibly do to help him now as we have tried every port of call & ive got my kids to think about now and they are my main priority. I dont want to leave him becAuse i love him but im not prepared to go through it all again as i suffered quite badly with depression and anxiety because of it all. Please someone help 🙁
Hi Sharnieanne,
Thanks for sharing your story with us, we are most grateful.
Your husband gambling problem seem to have impacted on you heavily, to the extent of needing anti-depressants to help you cope with the situation that you find yourself in.
It sounds like you also suffered rather badly from anxiety too.
It’s important that you look after yourself; put the children and yourself first.
Have you thought about taking control of all his finances for some time, and until such time he feels well recovered to manage his finances again?
If he doesn’t agree to that, then I suggest you keep your account separate from his in case you keep joint account. This is to avoid being drag down together into financial difficulty.
Meanwhile, keep encouraging him to contact us for some advice and support on how to overcome his gambling problem. We can refer him to 12 sessions of free counselling if that would help him to stop gambling.
Maybe, both of you would like to contact us on our free phone Helpline on: 0808 8020 133, and speak to one of our advisers for more help.
Our lines are open everyday from 8.00am to midnight.
My best wishes to you, and please keep posting!
Regards,
Beatrice
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