Feel like the issues being ignored

After a difficult 4 wk where my partner told me he didn’t know if he wanted to be with me which resulted in him

 admitting I wasn’t the problem he was, that he loved me and did t want to lose me. I told him I thought he was depressed (he’s not been right for around 8mth) and he agreed and said he’d ring gp and seek counselling. Initially much better but 2 wk later he wasn’t right again. Again we talked and got a lot out. Then a week later he admitted to being in a substantial amount of debt 2 credit cards and big overdraft and said he couldn’t see a way out other than ending things with me & me getting him his equity from the house but that wasn’t what he wanted. He wanted our relationship but needed help and that this was what the last few mth had been about.
He agreed he was drinking too much and not communicating properly and needed counselling to address the root of the moods and address the gambling. He said he’d go to GA. Transfer me his wage all except outgoings but wouldn’t let me see statements & just gave me figures and ask me to try get the money released from equity. I told him I needed to think about it all and wanted to talk about it all to which he said he didn’t want to talk because he couldn’t give me answers. 

Upshot here is that 3 wk down the line he’s put gamstop on his phone (which I’m pleased about) and given me his credit cards but that’s it. He’s not removed them online, he’s still paying for stuff as if nothings the problem yet is in his overdraft and can’t get out. Cards are pretty much maxed out and he can’t afford next payment. A tax bill is about to land and a loan which I knew about but he’s taken extra and on a huge APR (I didn’t know about those bit) and said the only way out he can see is to clear the debt and start a fresh.

Theres a lot of equity in the house but it’s all in my name and they won’t release it due to affordability because even though he pays half of everything and it’s affordable they only take my wage into consideration. Advised me to put him on mortgage (which was the plan when fixed rate ended because he put a lot of money after selling his into our garden work last year) so that’s not an option right now given the situation.

Ive asked him to say no to his kids for treats (£140 spent in 3 wk last month on games points they ask weekly which goes directly into credit card) but he hasn’t. I’ve asked him to look at the debt stuff I’ve been Googling to try and make a plan-he hasn’t. He won’t sit down and try to work things out about how we move forward. I’m going to change the car to reduce monthly payments there and pay half of the loan but I’ve asked him to get settlement figure so we can move it to a better APR. He hasn’t. I’ve suggested speaking to card companies about payments or let’s look at moving to 0% interest ones. Nothing done!

Hes very busy at work (got a decent job-we both have and should be able to save money even after maintenance and treats each month but we can’t) and then busy on an evening with kids sports so says he not got time or isn’t in the mood to talk about it.

Yet I feel like all I can do is think about how to try and help and cut back on spends and he’s not soing anything differently other than not online gambling ( he admitted to sending friends money for bets before and the debt isn’t all gambling it’s partly living beyond his means. Spending around £200 a month on alcohol, if I’m working the weekend he will get drunk alone or invite friends round to watch sport and then they gamble too).

I just feel like I’m making sacrifices and trying to help get him out of this situation and he’s just burying his head in the sand hoping it’ll go away. We’ve got things booked and planned with kids and friends and I’m going to have to find the money to pay for these now. I’ve cancelled a couple of things but it’s camping and my bday plans which are going ahead still. He’s still committing to things next year as well as saying he’ll pay half of an expensive school trip but I’m not sure what with.

Im so frustrated, upset and worried. If I say anything he just says he can’t live his life doing nothing forever but I’m not asking for that. I’m asking for some commitment to getting out of the situation he’s got himself in and some personal sacrifices for a few month. 

I just feel lost and frustrated. He’s a wonderful guy and we’ve been together 6 and half years and I love him dearly but need him to help himself too.