FiancГ© is a gambling addict

Also he refuses to go back to counselling. He had counselling for 8 weeks before but claimed it was no use as he never fully wanted to stop. His issue is he thinks he can stop one aspect but just do the football bets. I feel emotionally battered by this. I have a history of anxiety and depression myself and tbh I feel like there is only so much I can take before I breakdown myself. I want to support and help him but don't know how.

Still feeling so up & down atm. Monday night I packed up all my stuff & was going to leave but he came home & I looked at him & couldn't do it. I love him so so much but I hate the gambling side to things.

He swears he wants to stay away from the slot machines & just do the football bets which he has always been able to control (so far) but I am struggling to trust him.

I am an anxious mess tbh atm. Not sleeping properly for the panic attacks & constantly checking our account terrified of what I'm going to see. I'm not sure I can go on like this much longer but I just don't know what to do. Really just want someone to talk to who understands.....

I fully understand. If you want to have a rant feel free. You can't keep it all inside as you will end up damaged by it x

Thanks Keepingsafe. It's hard when you love someone and want to trust what they say but you live in fear. Like today I've got a day off but he's doing overtime. I'm exhausted so all I want to do is have a lie in but instead I'm panicked about going back to sleep in case while I sleep he's gambling away our money. Just makes me sick to my stomach.

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. I am a CG , currently (hopefully) in remission and gamble free for a couple of months. I know I can never gamble again - my last relapse happened when I got a £50 free bet and thought it would be ok to use it on the horses (as slots are my vice). Ended up with a huge binge, confession to my GF and a promise that I would never gamble again. There are always more accounts you can open, bookies shops, whatever. You can always find a way to gamble.

My rather rambling point is that sports betting is too close - you are still on the sites, the adverts are there. IF he really values your relationship surely he is willing to give up a meager £20 of 'enjoyment' every month. You have made a massive commitment, staying with him and working through the debt - surely he has to offer something in return and give up all gambling?

I feel completely guilt ridden and ashamed at the lies I have told my GF, I can't imagine telling her that I still think I should be allowed to gamble a little bit!

Thanks everyone.

Well he ended up having another relapse on Thursday during our trip to Cardiff to visit my family. I was having some mother-daughter time and he went out & gambled another £300. That makes it now £700 in total if I recall correctly. I now have our savings under an account in my name cause I'm damned if I'm going to see more hard earned money go down the drain.

I ended up telling my Mum as he texted me whilst I was still with her (which tbh I thought was incredibly selfish as I only see her twice a year atm and my time with her is precious). She ended up talking to him & apparently he's had a chance to think over things & wants to give the gambling up 100%, no betting nothing. Good job cause no way was I letting him bet after this latest relapse!

But I asked him to get professional help & at first he said he would but now he's backtracked & said he doesn't need it that he's had it before & knows what to do. Personally I feel he's making excuses but hey. He also won't guarantee to me 100% that he won't gamble again in the future as he says he can't predict how he will feel. To me that's bull. No matter the impulses or urges he's in control of what he does & yet it's like he still fails to fully accept that!

I just don't know what to do anymore. We are supposed to be getting married in 5 months & yet truth be told I don't trust him at all atm. I feel emotionally battered by it all & am scared to leave him alone cause when he's left alone he gambles. I just can't live like this. I'm also going through other family issues (my Grandpas in hospital & hasn't got long left by the looks of things) & I just can't take this right now. I'm so close to just asking him to move out. Feel so lost & extremely low atm.

Tbh I feel so angry towards him for putting me through this.

I also can't help but feel that I deserve better than this. Just so scared of leaving him.

All I can say is coming for a recovering gamble he can not just give up one thing of gambling he can not gambling another penny he will not recover just my not doing slot machines because when he he does another he will turn to the slot machines I'm telling you just trust me on this one

Hi there,

I could really do with a rant. I am in a very similar position, due to be married in 5 months. I feel like packing my bags; after 7 years of standing beside my fiancГ© and fully supporting him, I just don't feel as if I can cope anymore. For a while the situation became easier. He made a huge effort to stop gambling, however, over the past year has fallen deeper and deeper into a relapse. Any advice would be much appreciated. I just do not know how to support him anymore; everything I say or do just ends up being wrong and we argue constantly.