Hi all,
I have been dating my girlfriend for around 18 months at this point.
3-4 months ago we was talking about moving in together, it was going good.
A couple of months ago we spoke about going on holiday. I was for the idea, and later suggested we book somewhere for october time. However, this was taken as a rejection, that i didnt want to go away with her, she wanted to go there and then.
Around a month later. She felt like i wasnt excited to see her. I was only doing stuff because we had the title of boyfriend and girlfriend. She was no longer excited to do life with me, and didnt want to live together. She ask for.so me time apart.
I found this hard to understand and tried to save the relationship. We had a couple of days apart and quickly began seeing eachother most days again. Things had been going well and recently we brought up the topic of living together again.
Around 10 days ago i got a text while in work. 'I need to speak to you later'. When i got home that day, she told me she had a gambling addiction. Had been playing online slot machines for months while working from home. She had taken out bank loans, lost them, and taken out more loans to try win the money back. Now she had racked up 60k in debt and her monthly salary wouldnt cover the repayments.
She has contacted her bank and put blockers in place. She has also signed up to a 5 year block on any of her details being used in gambling related apps / websites.
She has spoken to debt advisers and is looking at two options.
- A debt repayment plan which would effect credit score but allow her spare money each month to live her life.
- A secure loan against the house which would not effect her credit score and allow the both of us to get a house in the future and do what we want to do.
She has blaimed the holiday rejection as the trigger for gambling as she needed to 'feel something'. The gambling started shortly before we took a break.
The part im struggling with is she no longer wanted to live together, wasnt excited about our future. But now us living together, both moving in right now and buying house in the future, is the deciding factor in what path she choses.
I dont know how to approach it. I dont know what the solution is. Im very much trying to process everything.
Any advice would be really appreciated.
Thankyou
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