Helping someone with an addiction

Gam anon meetings run parallel to the GA meetings, they are separate things, but they are for loved ones of gamblers, for us to get together and help each other to help ourselves cope with the gamblers, if that makes sense.

Everyone talks about their gamblers at first, its hard not to, but after a while we talk about ourselves more because we're starting to look after ourselves at last.

How did it go last night?

Oh right. There's not one local to me i did enquire but I've signed up for councilng. I would love to go to one and try to feel normal again.

I'm finding it hard to sleep..hence being up at a silly hour!

Last night went well I think, i waited outside for him and it was a horrible place seeing some of the people going in and out of the building for other issues but I stayed there for him. Weather me being outside helped him or not I don't know but we got him there and he seems to have met some people, i think around his age bracket. he said the meetings are private and confidential so didn't really say much. He said he interacted with the group, shared his story and that he would go back next week. It's definalty a start.

I go bingo occasionally but the days I go it's free, yes surprisingly true. i know by going I am not gambling money but I think I should stop going because it might make him relaps. I am far from a gambler and know when to draw the line. I do it socially more than anything. I think I should stop but then I think what would I tell my friends who I go with? He doesnt want people knowing about his situation. And I know he will say "I'm fine just to and enjoy yourself"

hi leanne, go have a read of my thread for some ideas about how to take control of the finances so you dont end up doing some of the mistakes i made 🙂

http://www.gamcare.org.uk/node/104508

the main tips would be buy a safe, and get a prepay credit card which is topped up weekly (or even more regularly) - lock away driving licences and passport in the safe if you can too, and change the logins pin/etc for their online banking and stuff so they can only get in once youve logged them in... normal bank cards are too easy to go overdrawn or get an overdraft.

stick with it, things get better! 🙂

hi my husband has had a serious gambling addiction for quite some years. he has reached out for help a couple of times online and spoke to someone online but it has never helped at all. he asked me today how he can get face to face help. i have no idea if i am honest, would the gp be able to refer him for some help? i really want to help but i have no idea what advice to give him.

Jf583 that's sounds brilliant that your husband wants help. Well my boyfriend called the gamecare helpline and asked for a gamblers annonomas (GA) session. My boyfriend didn't find one to one councilng helpful but he went to a GA this week and said he actually enjoyed it. I've noticed a difference in his personality already, he told me no betting is good and he's been reading leaflets they have given him. He actually admitted he has a problem and told me how it started so that's a big step for him. Definalty get your husband to call the helpline for your local GA group.

ok thats great, i think a GA session would be too much for him but thats definately what i truely think he needs. thank you. i will see if i can get him to call. theres only certain people he will speak to about it so im not too sure if he will ring up but fingers crossed. thank you.

Foonly thank you I'm going to have a read of your post.

I didn't know you could do too up credit cards, does this mean they can't take out loans? My boyfriend currently has one of my cards that doesn't allow overdrafts and I have all his id.

Jf583 my boyfriend was exactly the same, didn't want to talk to anyone about it and kept it secret from close family. Before he went to the GA session he said he was only going for me and that he wasn't going to speak in there. But he did, he said to me he will go back next week. So let's hope he does continue it.

It was like a ten ton weight had been lifted when he went to GA, he was nervous and defensive before he went, but wont miss a meeting now, and as above, he's much easier to live with as a result.

leannem wrote:

I didn't know you could do too up credit cards, does this mean they can't take out loans? My boyfriend currently has one of my cards that doesn't allow overdrafts and I have all his id.

unfortunately, it wont stop them from loans and stuff, but not having access to ID helps curb it. my gf destroyed her credit score so no reputable loan company would touch her, and i blocked access to payday loan websites via opendns, so if she even tried to access one, it would log it and tell me when i logged on*

she used to have a credit card with £150 limit, but that got maxed out pretty quickly so was cut up and closed. normal bank card was just too much of a risk and too easy to go overdrawn, so thats why i went for the prepay card. been using it a year or so now, and it's working pretty well so far. regular spot checks on the statement (and bank account) means nothing untoward goes unnoticed too...

just make sure all the card details are registered to your phone/email/etc as its quite easy to "upgrade" the card to one with an overdraft

hth

(edit *while this stops her accessing them at home, and k9 stops on her phone, theres always the ones where you can go instore and get them. fortunately she's not been that stupid yet, and the lack of ID hopefully stops this)

Thanks Foonly that's been very helpful.

I will look into it because that sounds like a good idea and they have their own allowance and a little independence.

My boyfriend currently has a bank card which is in my name so he can't take any loans out and can't go over drawn as I have a block on it, so the card will get declined if there is no money in it. Also as he has no id and the card isnt in his name he can't get a loan, but I'm definatly going to look into a pre pay card.