How to help a loved one who has recently admitted his addiction.

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 Dom
(@2wsl45yp68)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

I am looking for any advice. 

My brother has recently told me that he has been gambling for the last 7 years. This came to light because I realised my mother had given him over 80k in the last two years. He is 40 years old & has never had a stable job. He has said he has started joining chat rooms & will go to meetings but how do we help him? My mum blames herself & have told her she cannot give him anymore money. I need advice on how to help him.

 
Posted : 20th October 2023 3:36 pm
(@dave101)
Posts: 367
 

Stop giving him money altogether.

He needs to go to a meeting every week he will never be cured of it so he can't turned around one day and say he is ok now this is a life long addiction.

 

If he can he will probably need to trust a loved one with his finances to help him stop gambling.

 

It's a hard road with relapses in it but as long as he keep fighting to want to quit then he is on the right path 

 

It can be sensitive but the sooner he opens up in meetings and to loved ones about his problem the better the support will be

 

I hope this helps 

 

Dave101 a recovering compulsive gambler 

 
Posted : 21st October 2023 10:01 am
Forum admin
(@forum-admin)
Posts: 6149
Admin
 

Posted by: @2wsl45yp68

I am looking for any advice. 

My brother has recently told me that he has been gambling for the last 7 years. This came to light because I realised my mother had given him over 80k in the last two years. He is 40 years old & has never had a stable job. He has said he has started joining chat rooms & will go to meetings but how do we help him? My mum blames herself & have told her she cannot give him anymore money. I need advice on how to help him.

Hi Dom,

Well done for posting on the forum, and for letting us know your concern about your brother's gambling. It is good that you are also considering your mother, and how to improve this situation, as a family.

Our forum members will be able to give you their ideas, based on their own lived experience. 

Here are a few additional resources you might like to browse too:

 

BeGambleAware website page for affected others:

https://www.begambleaware.org/looking-out-for-you

Money Guidance Service toolkit (Factsheet 8 – Protecting your loved ones):

https://d1ygf46rsya1tb.cloudfront.net/prod/uploads/2023/03/J055641-Gamcare-Factsheet-8-WEB.pdf

Money Guidance Service Toolkit (Factsheet 9 – For family and friends: Keeping your finances safe):

https://d1ygf46rsya1tb.cloudfront.net/prod/uploads/2023/03/J055641-Gamcare-Factsheet-9-WEB.pdf

GamCare Blog post ‘Should I lend money to someone with a gambling problem?’

https://www.gamcare.org.uk/news-and-blog/blog/should-i-lend-money-to-someone-with-a-gambling-problem/

 

Please consider calling us on our freephone 0808 8020 133 if you are based in Britain, you can also invite your family members to call us if they need to talk. 

Take care,

Adam.

 

 
Posted : 21st October 2023 10:48 am
 Dom
(@2wsl45yp68)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

@dave101 Thank you Dave , he has said he is going to start a meeting next week. I just hope he does because so much trust has been broke.

 
Posted : 22nd October 2023 2:45 pm
 Dom
(@2wsl45yp68)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

@forum-admin Thank you Adam for the links.

 
Posted : 22nd October 2023 2:46 pm
 Dom
(@2wsl45yp68)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

@gadaveuk Thank you Dave. Really great advice. I live overseas but he is telling his best friend today who lives close by so I may suggest they go together. I had a long conversation with my brother yesterday (he did all the talking) he feels very relieved & very emotional now that a few people know  Is it best to let him come up with the suggestions? I don't want to put any pressure on him.

 
Posted : 22nd October 2023 2:53 pm
(@dave101)
Posts: 367
 

@2wsl45yp68 that’s great to hear. I hope this first step is the start of many positive ones to come. 

take care

 

dave101

 
Posted : 23rd October 2023 12:26 am
 Dom
(@2wsl45yp68)
Posts: 5
Topic starter
 

@gadaveuk thank you for sharing your journey. I really appreciate the insight & advice. 
Well done for creating new healthy habits. 
All the best.

 
Posted : 24th October 2023 7:36 pm

We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.

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