2 years ago my partner admitted he had gambling problem and had about £10000 worth of debt from this. He admitted he wanted help and wanted desperately to stop. He went to counselling and started going to GA meetings which he still does attend. I took control of all finances, with his wages being paid directly into my account and all bills paid for by me. Finally last month we cleared the debt that he had built and he told me he was in control of his problem, I felt like we were finally moving on.
We had a baby 5 months ago and got married 2 months ago. Yesterday he admitted that he has been gambling again since October.
I am completely broken and don't know what to do. He used my slip of concentration whilst heavily pregnant and recovering from a traumatic birth to get a credit card and start again.
I feel like the vows that we said only 2 months ago are completely worthless as all he was doing was lying to me during that time. I love him so much, he is an amazing husband and an amazing father other than the gambling but I just don't feel like I can forgive him this time.
I feel so let down, he admitted to his mum last week that he had gambled again but not the extent and she never came to me, she just kept his secret. I feel so alone with no support around me.
He's again saying he wants to stop and change, he's self excluded from sites, he's signed up to GamStop, he's referred himself for more counselling, booked a GP appointment and handed over his card. All positive steps and I've not had to ask for him to do any of these things, he says he wants to do it, he wants to stop.
How and when do you admit enough is enough? I need to think of my baby now and I'm not sure I have the strength to support him right now but its breaking me. Where do you find that strength from to pick up and try again?
Hi RLL firstly don't let this set you back. We've all made mistakes, felt like we should have kept tighter reins, etc. This is not your fault. This doesn't have to be the end. It's a 'slip'. The best way is take control of you. If you're happy to continue without the gambling set up credit alerts. All connected to credit scores and reports. You can go to meetings if there are any near you. Get some support there. Talk to his mother if you can, you're both not talking about it. Tell her you need to know. Ultimately if he chooses to gamble he will, but if he wants to stop and is putting blocks in place that is good. Encourage him to go back to GA. Addiction is forever and a gambling a tough one to beat. He's been honest and told you. Yes it's a kick in the teeth but it's about how we deal with it that helps us move forward. Call gamcare and talk to someone. Try and enjoy your baby, mine were very young when I found out. My eldest is 18 this month. It's possible to get over but you do need support.
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