Hi there,
i was clean for 2 years, and for the past year relapsed. i have spent £24000 in the last year of money i really dont have. I have took out a £500 loan to feed the habit, and a credit card. My finace of 4 years helped me through the furst time, but this time i kept it secret for a year, and she found out yesterday. I dont know whats going to happen to us, if i have lost her for good because of my gambling, but i just need some point in the right direction of someone who has been in my situation before.
thanks
Hello mate and well done for coming here for help. Sorry to hear the situation you are in. I was in exactly this situation 6 months ago. No idea what was going to happen. Didn’t know how I would get out of the mess I was in. Suspected correctly that I would lose my wife and home.
I came out fighting. Fighting for my relationship, fighting to beat this addiction and become a better person. I had to try and prove to my wife that I wanted to change and could change. I recommend you do the same.
Download all the blocking software you can (it’s free on GamCare), and block yourself from bookies.
Open up your finances to your partner, show them everything. Bank statements, credit report, the lot. It will be tough for both of you to see but it needs to be done.
Have a plan where you will have no access to money. It will be controlled entirely by you partner.
Find a GA meeting and phone the gamcare team for support. This is available to your partner too.
Start a diary. Focus on everything you hate about gambling and how low it has got you. This will be super useful in future to show you how far you’ve come and how far you don’t want to fall.
Come up with a plan to clear any debts. If this means contacting step change then get it done.
Change your routine for good. When you would gamble, have a plan to do something else. Leave the phone with your partner at night. Remove any temptation to help with the urges.
Open up to a friend or family member. Honestly is key to beating this.
Read everyone’s story in here. They will inspire you and give you tips.
You are going to have to show your partner you are committed to them and to beating this. Many couples come through this stronger. The ball is very much in your court to beat gambling, unfortunately it’s in your partner’s court for the relationship so come out fighting with the part you control.
Wishing you all the best. Stay strong 💪
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