o*g SL90, my partner was acting exactly the same. Extremely moody, completely out of character really but he was blaming it on his job as it's quite stressful, so I assumed that was the case and also quite secretive. I blubbed to my best friend 6 months ago thinking he was texting or facebooking other girls but when I eventually had the courage and checked there was nothing. I felt so stupid for not realising what it was sooner, he had been lying to me about it our entire relationship and borrowing the money from our joint account for 3 years and I didn't realise! How stupid am I! But also like your partner he was able to put the majority back in time so that bills were paid etc. how long has your partner been gambling for? It's good that he came clean to you with all lies straight away, I've just in the last 2 weeks found out the last of the lies I hope!! Because I really can't deal with anymore. And writting this makes me think why am I still here grrr. It sounds like you are taking good care of yourself and I feel like maybe we should have had a longer break from each other, have you still been in contact? The fact that he sat there sobbing to you (like my partner also has done to me over the past few months- I've also never seen him like this) sounds as if to me he is trying to make it work. I'm just also confused how cutting you out, makes it better but maybe he's felt like he's hurt u so bad that u need the space too. Has he started going to the gam meetings? My partners been to four now and came home tonight saying how much he had enjoyed it! It's good to know there are people on here that I can speak to that understand and are in the same position. Thank you so much. X
Dear SL90
Glad to be of any help....
i do worry about what you have wrote.....
sometimes a gambling urge can cause you to do anything to get your hands on your own money even if that means having a break from your partner......i hope this is not the reason?
Has control been returned of the finances due to the break?
That could be bad if so......
another point i'd make a gambler is never off scot free and if you love each other you shouldn't really want to exact a price for gambling failures......as he is ill and losing everything even if by his own means.....
he currently is not with you........first most important loss as you love each other and you are a team....and he needs you
he is addicted to gambling.........and that is hard enough punishment anyway trust me on this....
he is back with his finances on his own accord........if this is the case he could be getting deeper in debt and farther from you by doing so.......then he won't want to even face you.....
i hope it works out..........if i was you i would ask these questions and let him know you are a team and that you want to do it together and make it work..........i would also make it clear being apart is not good while he addicted and down as it could be too late if left living apart for long.....
best of luck
Wayne
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
