Hi. I know there are loads of similar posts and in the nicest possible way I'm glad I'm not the only one in this situation.
My fiancГ© has a gambling addiction. In the last year he's spent 1000's on credit cards to pay for his addiction. It all came to a head in October when I was thinking about leaving him. I realised that financially I couldn't manage on my own because all the credit cards have been in my name. We had numerous long talks and spoke to my dad, who is now managing our finances. All was well, or so I thought. A few weeks later he broke down and told me he had spent £600+ on a credit card I didn't know he had.
Last weekend a credit card and pin code come through the post. He told me he didn't know he'd been accepted for it and was only seeing what his credit rating was like. I didn't believe him and cut the card up. Two days later he told me he had spent ВЈ300+ and had a pay day loan to pay for which was £200. Every single time he tells me, I forgive him. But every single time part of me gives up. He has joined a gambling help website, possibly this one. Tonight he has told me "you can't say you'll leave me if I carry on gambling, I can't help it so you can't threaten me"... Since Monday he's spent several hundred pounds on this credit card, he got the number off a letter that had been ripped up and put in the bin.
I don't know how much more I can take. Putting my dad in control of my finances was the most soul destroying thing I've had to do, and I don't dare tell him my partner is still gambling. I have a daughter to think about and can't put our house at risk. I'm beginning to resent him and worry that this has gone too far for me to forgive now 🙁
Sure a partner or family member will come on shortly but i just wanted to say you're not alone as you say Marie
Big Question does he want to stop gambling? If not its going to be incredibly hard for things to change. There has to be a desire to stop
Please read some other posts about protecting yourself financially and personally. There is a lot you can do.
Obviously I don't know your situation so get personal advice from experts who know if you want real help.
cmarie33, I echo the above from triangle...You must do whatever you can to protect you & your daughter! What he said about not being able to help it is rubbish, he can & he will but only when he wants to! I'm not saying it will be easy for him but he's out of order saying that to you because we all have this choice to make! You can still get through this & it's not for me to advise you on stuff I know nothing about. But I think you may benefit from a phone call to Gamcare & I wish you the very best finding the strength to deal with this - ODAAT
Thank you both. Financially I'm protected, luckily my dad can support me if needs must and the house is in my name. He says he's acknowledged he has a problem and has been on this site today. I have said to him that he needs to prove to me that he wants help otherwise I don't think I can carry on, every time I begin to trust him again it gets knocked down.
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