I'm now in 20k debt thanks to my Partner

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(@735aly6ob8)
Posts: 1
Topic starter
 

Hello

 

I've been looking for a platform to vent my anger. My boyfriend and I met through my friend's party two years ago and had I known this would happen, I would have never entertained him. 

 

He thinks of gambling as his full time job, he gives me proposal that if I let him use my credit card he will be able to pay it back until I slowly succumbed into this spiral of lending him money because he does pay it back. I still live with my parents and he's been an orphan since his mum passed away in 2017 and only recently he went back to university. However, he injured his arm back in early 2021 and hasn't recovered from it since so he had to quit his job and then he started to think of his gambling as his full time job. He almost became homeless a year ago but I managed to speak to his university and get him an accommodation. He's very good at managing money but it's just his gambling problem that makes it all worse. 

 

I work full time but it is not enough to cover myself and support him. Generally, all the debts under my name, I tell him that its his responsibility but I wish not to go on a default. We have been good at repayments but my credit card that has a £6000 limit has gone over due to the interest because it was the first time I couldn't fully pay it fully. on top of that, I have over 20k debt of personal loans and credit cards under my name but all of those were only used by him. 

 

I love him and I want to help him get out of this hellhole, I'm just losing my patience because I don't like that we are fighting over it. I want him to take the initiative to find an alternative way to pay this debts other than gambling. I'm getting tired. 

 

Could any of you provide some advice? 

 
Posted : 1st March 2023 10:38 am
Thebean
(@thebean)
Posts: 301
 

Hi.  Well done for asking for advice.

I am a gambling addict who is trying desperately to stop.  I am in debt.

1)  Make sure your bf has no access to any more of your money. Cancel cards, replace them and don't give him access.

He will lose it.  Even if he wins he will just deposit as lose more.  It's what I have done for 19 years. 

2). You need proper help and advice re this debt.  Call payplan on 0800 280 2816 .  They were recommended to me.  Explain the situation to them.

Gambling to pay debt is an utter fantasy for anyone especially a gambling addict.  No win will ever be big enough.  Your bf needs to take steps himself to end this addiction.

I would be interested if he deposited using his details or yours to make accounts.  Did he always get your permission.

I hope you get this sorted.  If you only do one thing though restrict him from using any more money.  Cut all access he has to any penny.

 

 

 

 

 
Posted : 1st March 2023 7:08 pm

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