Lost

Hello and welcome to the forum Julz07

Problem Gambling can put a strain on relationships and it may be helpful to talk to one of the advisors.I can see from you post you say you are angry and hurt and dont know what to do. Advisors will listen to your concerns and can give you information on help and support available to you. You can contact the helpline on 08 08 80 20 133 or through the netline http://www.gamcare.org.uk/support-and-counselling/frontline-services/netline#.VuXehPmLQdU

Please also find a link to the Family and Friends information page on our website http://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/partners-friends-and-family#.VuXfG_mLQdU

You may also want to think about contacting you doctor if you continue to have palptations,chest pains and feelings of panic it may help to talk with your doctor about this.

Keep posting Julz07 we are here to support you.

Julz07 wrote: My partner is a gambler i forst found out before christmas he promised would stop i took his bank card thinking that would be the end of it how wrong was i ! After a letter from the bank saying two months of his mobile bill hadnt been paid i got a mini statement for his accpunt and found he had been getting paid more than i knew from new job and transferring money into people he worked with accounts money he owed to them i could not believe it i feel stupid to think i have believed the lies and had to borrow money to pay rent get food etc for our two kids when has been spending 100s on machines in bookies he says he doesnt know why that is no use to me im in shock so angry i dont even know the person i have spent 8 years of my life with i just dont know what to do he has got self exclusion forms but just seems to make excuses to hand them in and even then i wont know if he has or they have gone in a bin all trust has gone replaced with hurt and anger i dont understand why people would turn into thieves and liers when they have children ecspecially i find it selfish and childish who loves them the right to steal from the people who love them how can he stand in front of me and lie i have suspected things but when questioned him he shouts and calls me paranoid etc why hurt me is emotional abuse part of this horrible addiction i found out last saturday since then i have started getting palpatations and chest pain and feeling panicy how could he do this to me then like right now just sit and eat his tea while inside of me im in bits

My husband is a c g.

He too lies, manipulates, steals, bullies, is deceptive and is abusive in every other way but physically. I understand your pain. I also have panicky feelings and chest pains due to the fear and anxiety over his gambling, like you do. I wish I could say it will get better.....it won't unless he admits this is a very real problem, for you all, and wants to change....and most importantly, takes the steps to get the help he needs. If he does this, and shows you he recognises his mistakes and his problem and is working to make it right, then in time, the trust will come back. Not fully, but each day is a new step forward. The question you have to ask yourself is, are you willing to take this on too? Believe me when I say it is an ugly road and one with no end unless he wants to stop. My husband has catagorically told me he has no intention of ever stopping his gambling and I'm now at the point of breaking up my marriage and family as I can't cope with him and what he does any more. You will have to take full control of all finances. He will have to agree to this. Shut down any joint bank accounts. Apply for his credit report and see if he has any debts that you don't know about in loans, payday loans, credit cards etc. Without full and complete knowledge of what you're facing you will never survive it. Be prepared for childish behaviour and mood swings to rival any teenager. Trust is earned....he has to prove to you that he can earn it back and follow through. Gamblers are selfish. They only see what they want to do, what they need and don't seem to comprehend the effects on anyone else around them. They are deceptive, sly and sneaky.....going to great lengths to get the money they feel they need and in their eyes deserve, then hiding it from you. They are also manipulative and bullying....if they can't have it their way there will be consequences....all of which are soul destroying to you, damaging to your relationship and makes you see the person you chose to be with in life in a completely different way.

I hope you are ok. There is a lot of help and support on here. Contact netline for a chat with an advisor on here. I have many times and it's helped. There is counselling too....they can give you all the right info on here to help you. Think of you and your children now, be strong and fight for yourselves as he isn't. Good luck and let us know how you're getting on. Take care x