Lying and Stealing

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years. During that time, he has been an angel to me - he is kind, caring, supportive, my biggest fan. I love the bones of him. 

But 6 months into our relationship, it came to light that he had been to prison after stealing money from an employer to fund his gambling addiction. Looking back now, I wish I’d ran. He told me it was all in the past and that he doesn’t gamble anymore - he attended rehab and doesn’t have the urges. 

About a year later, he came home from work telling me he’d been suspended because someone who reports to him had stolen from work and he approved the payroll without knowing. It was infact him (again) who stole the money. Due to delays in court from Covid, he wasn’t tried immediately and did actually turn his life around. He managed to be clean, stopped hiding and let me check his phone often. The judge saw his turnaround in behaviour and gave him a suspended sentence (so lucky, I know!). 

I found out at the end of last year that he started gambling again. We installed gamban on his phone, put self exclusions for betting shops and casinos and I have control of his finances; he has been clean for 4 months. However, I found out yesterday, he has lost his job again, due to… you guessed it.. stealing from his employer. He had a meeting with them and asked to settle the funds outside of court to which they agreed (subject to their insurance agreeing, which probably won’t happen). He has already given them a small payment to show commitment to paying it back. 

I am absolutely heartbroken. I don’t know what to do. I love him so much but I can’t keep going through this pain, especially with the fact that he will quite possibly be going back to prison. I’ve asked him to move out temporarily to get my head clear, but I just want to help him. He has promised me this is the last time and he really will get all the help possible now. But is it too little too late? 

He got referred to counselling through GamCare chat this morning (awaiting response), and has said he will attend a GA meeting on Monday. I’m so conflicted because he is currently clean, but how do I cope with my partner going to prison? 

I have also had help from GamCare for my own mental health and how to deal with being a partner of a gambling addict. I completely understand it is a mental illness and not easily fixed, and I want to be by his side every step of this journey. But I’m just terrified he is going to let me down again.