Hey everyone. Just looking for some advice really.
My Dad has a gambling problem. Myself and his girlfriend have known for a few months. We're yet to say anything as we don't really know how to approach the subject with him or what to say. As were expect his reaction to be pretty bad.
He's very stubborn and not very approachable at the best of times.
Does anyone have any advice?
Any help would be very much appreciated
Hi lisha how do you know? The best thing to do is find a gamanon meeting. You can call gamcare too. There is gamanon online Sunday night 8-9. Look at the website. The basic rule is don't give a gambler money, don't take on their debts. Don't make ultimatums. Encourage them to get help. If you know his reaction is going to be bad try and pick a calm time together with his girlfriend. Secure all finances. If there is debt speak to stepchange. There's not really a way to stop a gambler other than to stop enabling them. You have to look after yourselves and your finances. The best plan of action is to get help for you. Tell us more and we can answer your questions and give more advice.
Hi Lisha,
How have you found out? is he gambling all his money? is he borrowing to gamble? I too am a compulsive gambler and while I was in the grip of this addiction I was not a nice person, relationships and work came a distant second to gambling. The fact I hit rock bottom (by which time I was thousands in Debt) and had no money left to meet the bills meant I had no choice but to face my problem. The hardest part is the first step which is admitting you have a problem and cant control it.
All you and your partner can do is confront him about it (he will probaly argue about it) both together be calm. If he says its not as bad as you say ask to see his bank account, if he gambles online they would all show up here. Tell him about Gamcare and his nearest GA(gamblers anonymous) meeting. But that is really all you can do. You cannot force a compulsive gamlbler to do anything, they have to want to get help like any other addict. There are gamblers out there who have lost everything, houses, jobs, kids, the lot and still they gamble.
I know its not what you want to hear as he is your Dad, but all you can do is advice him then protect yourself. Maybe you and his girlfriend could go to a GamAnon meeting (look them up online, these are for family and friends of compulsive gamblers) you will get good advice there.
Honestly, most people get really angry, because gambling is a dirty little secretive. Depending on how he is as a person, it is hard to say where to go from there. He will be P****d and he will deny things Maybe he is not at a stage to admit he has a problem.
Just have a family meeting and let him know. Good luck.
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