My husband started on line gambling in 2005 and was gambling all night and spending £500 per hand. I tried to get him to stop but to no avail. We separated and he went to live away. After 6 months he contacted me and asked to meet and I did, we began to renew our relationship and the gambling improved, however he did not move back to the matrimonial home. By 2012 he was gambling again and we were on the verge of breaking contact when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. He moved back into the home and cared for me during intensive treatment and I will be forever grateful for this. However the gambling raised its head again and during 2016 there were numerous times when we were not speaking because of this. I informed him in January 2017 that if he continued to gamble we would have to separate and he would then cease but over the next months it gradually increased. He started to drink heavily and be out all afternoon and evening not letting me know where he was. He then started to be very nasty and accused me of goading him into gambling. It was agreed that we would separate and he left in August 2017. I have not seen him since and had a few texts with some details about what he is doing. When he left he took a brand new car and £12.000 savings. The house was in my name before we married so I have taken out a loan of £15.000 and sent this to him, I never even got a thank you. I am retired so will have to pay this loan out of my pension. In order to get this loan I have had to apply for a divorceand this will be final in May. I now hear he went to Goa for 6 weeks and he has told me he is not working. He keeps telling me he is devestated by what has happened and appears not to realise the gambling has caused all this misery. I did not want a divorce but have had to cover myself as he is in denial. Now tell me after all this why do I still love him , am heartbroken and blame myself. Will this feeling improve. Any advice would be helpful
Hi estel maybe call gamcare and talk about your feelings? I'm in a different place to you, I stayed. I don't know if the feeling will go, I'm sure in time. You need to be confident in your choices. Don't feel guilty did looking after yourself. He needs to be desperate to stop. Only when the money runs out do they stop, some not even then. He's in denial. Addicts don't have healthy relationships when using. I chose to stay and he goes to GA, I go to gamanon. It's hard but I don't believe they are bad, they're troubled souls.
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