Well i found out 4 days ago my partner has a huge gmblin problem. He cme home with the hump and wouldnt tell me what was wrong, i new something was up. Cut a long story short the next day i got it out of him hed lost a bit og money gambling. 300 quid. The next day he admitted it was chasing another 300 hed lost. It then came out hes lost alot. Been gamblig since last year rigt under my nose. He got a loan out from thr bank and has borrowed money of his stupid mother. He ows 2 and a half grand. I acted badly when i found out i did beat him up not bad im only short and small lol. We bought a house last year and i gave birth to our daughter early jan. It started in december. Hes been doing it online. He has blocked his account, given me his card and phone. I got him a cheap phone that doesnt do anything but rcieve calls and text. His online banking shows hes been doing it every day. We dont have internet at home. Tody we went round together and got him band from every betting shop. He has contacted gamcare and they are riging him to arrange counseling on monday. We have broken up for a 'break'as i cant be with him at the moment. I did chuck him out for a night but he is back home now sleeping on floor in our room (with a matress). I cant get my head round it all i am suffering with post natal deoression myself and have found the last 4 months very hard. I feel like i dont recognise him as the person i new would nrver have been this decietful. I need advice on what to do. I am trying to help him and we have sat down and spoke our families both know now and sat him down too. Will this get better? Can i ever trust him again?? I just feel so s**t that this has hsppened and i had absilitly no idea!!! 🙁
Hi laurenkateprz,
Welcome to the Forum! You are describing a very difficult situation at home over the past 4-5 days.
It is good that you have spoken to both your families and look for support within your families. There is a lot which you have both done is a very short space of time: taking on looking after the money for him, contacting gamcare and referring to counselling and thinking about how you can move forward as a couple.
You are a young mum and you say that you suffer from post-natal depression. That is a lot in itself and for the time being, it might be enough if you ensured that you are supported by people close to you, maybe your doctor, too. And that you are able to care for your baby.
If trust is broken in a relationship is usually doesn't get fixed over night. It would take time and two people to work on it over time. Maybe you have taken the first step now...
People with a gambling problem can get better and can stop. Again, this tends to be a process and takes time. Your partner would have to work on this, it is his responsibility to sort it out. He made sure you didn't know about his problem, that's why you had no idea.
I hope that you will find some space for yourself at the moment. You are very welcome here and I hope that you can use this Forum as support for you.
Kind wishes
Gabriele
Looking after your baby and yourself isthe most important thing now. The rest will resolve somehow given time, everything does.
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Hi iv just joined. My son has lost his wife and kids moved in with us . He has a drinking problem as well. Need all the advice I can get.
I would ring gamcare for a chat, you need some practical advice here. First thing I am thinking is "how can he afford to be addicted to gambling and alcohol?" and get rid of that supply of money, dont bail him out, really think about whether him coming back to your house is the right thing? Sounds like the soft option for him but a very tough one for you. Who's welfare is the priority here? He has sacrificed his wifed and kids, so he's not going to think twice about exploiting you either, harsh but probably horribly true.
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Hi, I too have just recently found out my fiancГ© has been gambling for pretty much the whole time we've been together. We have a 7 week old baby and I'm pretty sure I'm suffering from PND also (though this is undiagnosed, in fact this is the first time I've admitted it to myself) I hate to say it but trust has to be earnt and our partners have lost the right to be trusted until they can earn it back. I'm personally not sure I'll ever trust him again, or forgive him for doing this to our family but you may be different. The steps that your partner is taking, and the fact he even admits that he has a problem is really promising though! Not really got much advice for you as I'm new to this too but I'm here to talk of you ever need to x
Ella toni our situations seem very similar. Whats your email maybe we could chat? My fiance seems to be alot happier now he has let everything out and has councelling today. We arent together but hes still living at home ive said he needsbto prove himself to me before i take him back but would be unfair on my child if i kicked him out as i need all the help i can get too. Thanks everyone for the comments. Im currently at the doctors going to tell her everything, shes already sugested counciling for my pnd so will probably tell me definitly to go now.
It's [email protected] please feel free to email me whenever and we cam have a chat 🙂 x
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