Partner gambling again

Hi clover you're In the right place. Just continue on this section in the comment box with your story or questions.

Hi Clover,

Welcome to the Forum. I am sorry to hear that you found it to be very complicated. However, you did very well as you managed to post. Perhaps you may want to give some feedback about what specifically was challenging so we can take it into account. This is a safe space for you to exchange thoughts with other people in a similar situation and get support and encouragement. It’s also a safe space for you just to reflect on your experiences around gambling.

However, it is concerning that you stated that you feel so desperate. Our Helpline / Netline is open from 8am until midnight, 7 days a week. You may contact us and speak to an advisor about your situation and look at possible options and how to get support. In the meantime, feel free to post here and I hope you get a lot of support by other members.

Best wishes,

Forum Admin

I’m desperate. I’m trying to start a new thread but icang figure out how. My partner gambled before we met, over 25 years ago. He told me about it when we met. All was good until 2017 when he started again and lost about £40,000. I guessed and confronted him and he finally confessed. He stopped for awhile then started again in 2018. We had counselling and he has now had his wages paid into my bank account. My problem is that he still has debts and isnt being open and honest with me. He asks me for money but I don’t know where it goes. I’ve trued to start anew thread but I just get an error message every time. I’m so desperate

Hi clover. If you give him money he should supply a receipt. He should be attending GA or some other support group. You often can't do this alone. Can you find a gamanon meeting? In my experience after many years of what you are going through, that is the only way. It's support for you, learn how to look after yourself and stop putting up with their bad behaviour. It shows your partner you've had enough and you're going to get better regardless of what they are doing. Call gamcare, there is online chat most days. Do this for you, stop believing it's all up to him to sort out. The only person you can change is yourself

Thank you. How do I get him to give me receipts ? I’m trying to get him to do stuff because he sees he needs to not because I’m making him, but it’s not working.

And how do I get his Experian report ?

Clover wrote:

Thank you. How do I get him to give me receipts ? I’m trying to get him to do stuff because he sees he needs to not because I’m making him, but it’s not working.

Your partner needs to want to do this for himself, otherwise there's absolutely no hope. My partner has been strugging with CG since 2016. We met late 2017 and he came clean to me in the summer of 2018. When he first told me, I urged him to join GA, go on forums etc etc, all of which he refused saying he "could do it" himself. Of course, famous last words! He's relapsed twice since then. Only after the last relapse that he's agreed to join GamCare, go on various forums etc...but his actions are still short of what is needed IMO, but that's another matter. At least now he's showing me his receipts for everything he spends money on. So, yeah, your partner would have to be willing to do this himself. You can't make him.