Hi, I wanted to ask some advice about how or when to address this.Â
so me & my husband both have a join account (which I control) but then we decided to have personal accounts and set a weekly budget of £100 each to spend on whatever we want. This was to stop me questioning my husband on what he spent his money on. it’s worked really well and we rarely argue about money.Â
However, he mentioned he had no money and was in overdraft on his account, so I looked through his banking app (without him knowing) and noticed he’s been spending most of it on bet 365 and national lottery.
its not excessive amounts but it’s still a lot in my eyes, I wouldn’t even spend £10 on a scratch card.Â
I am not sure whether I should address it now with him before it gets any worse or how to do this. He will be annoyed that I’ve been looking at his banking app because we agreed that we had at separate accounts for exactly that reason. But we are married and I am worried that if it gets worse, he could take out credit.Â
when we had a joint account he did on the odd occasion enter a competition or paid a national lottery which I used to go mad about! And this caused a lot of arguments in the past.Â
any suggestions please?Â
hi
in my honest opinion if he is recently trying to give up gambling he should have no access to money.
£100 a week is a lot of money. He’s had his money why does he need more? You’re perfectly entitled to ask that question.
its his debt not yours
i have access to everything, I have the passwords. My husband has a card but can’t go online with it.Â
he’s open and honest if he withdraws cash etc
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its only when they have realised they can’t gamble at all will things improveÂ
I wouldn’t give him more unless he shows you his account.
its time to be ruthless and honestÂ
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If he has had a gambling addiction in the past then look further into finances to see if their is hidden debt by design gambling addicts are delusional liars who couldn't care less but love to blame anything and everyone else protecting your own finances is a priority for your own sanity and safety best wishes to youÂ
Ask him if he believes he needs help, listen to his response............And the hard bit then tell him all your worries and concerns and that it is now affecting and impacting your life (again) and in order not to see it go way to far (again) you would like to retake over full finances again, before it further affects your relationship maybe to a point beyond repair. Its better now than in the future because this only goes one way from here if unchecked.Â
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