Hi,
I'm Geoff. New to Gamcare. I am not a gambler, but have strong suspicion that my son might be. We have found out in the past that he has been on line gambling. Confronted him at the time & he admitted it.That was over 3 years ago. Recently, he split up from his live in girlfriend & moved back home. He is in full employment but recently has shown signs of being strapped for cash. i.e visiting/selling at local cash converter.We have also found out he has had a pay day loan.
This morning we broached the subject & he immediately went on the defensive. Saying we lack trust & he has no issues whatsoever.There were many heated words, tears & now he has stormed out of the house. We have looked on line & found he has shown all the signs of gambling addiction. This has made us feel very scared of what he might do.
This is a heartfelt plea & I would appreciate any advice/help on this very sensitive matter.
Unfortunately you can't help him unless and until he wants to be helped. If he does there are measues he can take which will cut off his access to gambling virtually immediately. If he doesn't standard advice is to ringfence your own finances and keep valuables and cash away from where he could access them then put your own interests and sanity first.
It would be very unwise to trust him unless you can verify what he's telling you with independent evidence. If that's not forthcoming be wary. Don't let him manipulate you - the trust issue he's raising is a classic example. Don't be drawn into the dramatics. Be clear what you want and expect while he's living in your home. He may be gambling and deep in denial about it but that doesn't mean he can take it out on you. Don't keep secrets for him. Warn anyone who might fall for a sob story not to give him cash or loans. Don't offer bailouts for any loans he's taken out or be persuaded into taking out loans on his behalf.
If you need support you could try Gamanon or friends or other family members but it's also a very good idea to read up on it for yourself and find out what you're up against.
Take care of you.
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