Hello, me again,
He owned up to one on line "poison" but I thought that there might be others...and cynical or not, I believed his denial. Have now found a different poison, found written records of the bets from 10 years ago. And of course he's trying to give me Gambler's proverbial in a bid to confuse me about the type of betting he's been doing.
I thought that there were too many withdrawals of cash from his account, no one needs that much cash for innocent purposes. Back to denials that fly in the face of common sense. And these excessive cash withdrawals date back to the early days together, I was clueless!
Does it ever end? I can't catch him out with everything, goodness knows he pulled the wool over my eyes for long enough.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Frustrated CW
Oh I know how that feels! Does it ever end? Good question. Sometimes even 7 months on I can't quite believe this has happened to me.
Its the same poison. Once addicts get hooked it can be difficult to stop. Incredibly hard for my loved ones to see and live with.
I hope he gets help.
Thanks, both. He did go to GA. He gave me v rational explanations for my concerns but don't know whether to believe him, in particular, I find vague answers about excess cash not fully convincing so still worried.
What a life.
CW
Katie, I can't believe that it's happening to me, either. Look after yourself
CW
Cynical wife wrote:
Thanks, both. He did go to GA. He gave me v rational explanations for my concerns but don't know whether to believe him, in particular, I find vague answers about excess cash not fully convincing so still worried.
What a life.
CW
Did go implying he went for a few GA meetings and then stopped?
No wonder your still worrried
Hi, Triangle
He's still going to GA, v early days but am waiting for fog to lift. My problem is that I'm taking a ghoulish interest in v old bank statements to see how long he's been at it. One pattern that shows up is a lot of cash withdrawals, from the days that the technology was available and long before as well. At the time he could afford it but he's vague about why he carried so much cash, he denies bookies or casinos. And given that he's been telling lies to music for far too much of our marriage, I have no idea whether I can accept these denials or whether more barriers are needed. His present cash allowance is a bit higher than I think he needs and I can't tell if I've left a door open.
Thanks v much,
CW
Hi CW
Possibly you won't know until / if it happens again, What you can do is communicate this to him in a productive way and learn from the experience on this forum including half life, pangolin and many others. Keep reading their experiences and sharing your own.
Very glad he's still hanging in at GA.
Tri
Thanks, Triangle, will try.
Hi, again,
After ploughing through too many old bank statements, I was worried about the regular pattern of large cash withdrawals. This was before he opened an online account, which at least does show up in the statements. Previous attempts to get him to explain had yielded fog and denials and to be fair it was a v long time ago and how can he remember what he spent his cash on a decade ago.
Tackled him again with help of older kids and it turns out that the excess cash probably was betting but his usual poison and not a different one as we had feared. So that's all right, then.
Luckily, he's still attending regularly at GA...as far as I know.
Ever more Cynical Wife
You could ask him to bring home some literature for you to read?
Good idea, thanks.
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