Would you be ok with this?

No, I would not be okay with it at the moment. He is a gambler still possibly in the cycle of addiction. He will lie, cheat and emotionally blackmail you in order to get what he wants if he still is gambling 

We are never 'cured' I am over 11 years free of gambling but don't consider that I'm cured. We can however change, and stop the addiction, many of us do, and have happy lives. I would suggest that he needs to take action to resolve his problems, and demonstrate that he has done so before considering any 'chat'

Sometimes in mid addiction, gamblers resort to controlling and conditioning those around them for numerous reasons, mainly housing and money to bet, again this may or may not be happening.  You are however right to be cautious and protecting your daughter but maybe he can change?. The breech of trust that you feel adds a further dimension to the problem, that falls into a category outside of my experience. The phone line may be a good resource to use for advice. 

Please don’t be a part of his manipulation. Your daughter is right and entitled to choose not to be drawn into the game. He’s crossed her line and she’s withdrawn to look after herself. The best course of action is to learn about addiction and try not to be involved. You are not impartial. I just asked my husband ‘are you cured’ he said ‘no’.

your daughter can seek help from gamcare if she wishes. There are meetings online. There are self help books. The best thing is to secure finances and do credit checks.

Their no cure it life long as Faith mentioned their are steps you can do to not gamble but the temptation will always be their till death i only came to realise after my last relapse i was gamble free for over 2 years prior to that 

@faith-777 i was just thinking today their are compulsive gambliers who havent even had a bet yet they just dont know it i was talking to a friend who was addicted to weed and was telling me he glad he never had a bet in his life as he reallsed he gets addicted to things 

@taxman, you are 100% correct. There are so many people who have this tendency to go headfirst into everything. Sometimes to the detriment of everyone around them. And there are also lots of people who swap one addiction for another when stopping. So many pitfalls in life. But we can and do overcome them all with help and positive mindsets.

radio58 He’s kidding himself and thinks by doing the bare minimum that he’s cured.

Unfortunately there’s no cure for compulsive gamblers. It doesn’t mean that he can’t abstain with help or look at changing his behaviours, but in this case I would suggest he’s no where near ready.

Regardless, if your daughter has decided to move on then he should respect her wishes, however difficult it might be. If he can’t be honest with himself then how can he be honest with her and you.

Chris

I would advise that this would not be acceptable in any case, even if he wasn't a gambler.

Your daughter has made her decision, regardless of whether he is still a gambler.

Not really sure what’s going on ? 

my daughter showed me his instagram site and it’s full of photos of him and his new girlfriend.  She just doesn’t want to be involved with any of his mind games (her words).  Last night he sent her quite an odd email.  Saying lots of strange things about his new girlfriend.

He has rung me today and I’ve told him my daughter does not want to speak to him.  He sounded anxious and was angry.  I’ve told him to concerntrate on his new relationship.

@radio58 he sounds like a Narcissistic with a gambling addiction they worst kind of humans to walk the earth i have more pity for compulsive gambliers then these type of people 

@radio58 me again.

I think that he is now acting outside of the law. He has been asked not to make contact but still continues. That Is harrassment, you need some legal advice.

He's completely full of s**t that he's cured,once your daughter get back with his he will play a victim and feel sorry for himself.

He's still gambling now and all he wants is someone to be around him when his world is falling down.

Good morning and thank you for all your responses.  I just think he must’ve sad their divorce has just gone through in the last couple of weeks.

After my daughter left him, his father told us he had given him £5k from the sale of his house and son in law had gambled the lot!

I really do feel for him it must be extremely hard trying to stop gambling.  But I now believe that during their time together he gambled all the time.  He used to put football accumulators on every weekend but I think due to ‘down time’ in the military he bet every day.  But you can only push people’s trust and patience so far and since my daughter left him she has flourished.  
I’ve told him to go away and concentrate on his new relationship.  I suspect the initial stages of excitement in their relationship has passed and he is starting to show his real colours.