1 week clean

Hi, the FOBT,S roulette almost finished me, I could see no way out. That was December 28th 2017. I have managed to stay clean for 10 months. I racked up debts of around £30.000 on credit cards, blew my hard earned money and had absoutely norhing to show for working hard, all of it wasted on roulette machines. Chasing losses, thinking it would be my lucky day, but even if I won I would give it all back on the next visit. I was clearly addicted. I've experienced the same things as you, the shame and humiliation of walking out of the bookies with the staff knowing you have just blown a fortune.

But put the lost money aside for a moment, as gambling will destroy you mentally. It turned me into a secretive liar who was constantly having to cover my tracks to as to why I never had any money but worked really hard. I was unable to sleep properly as I was worrying about money problems and being found out by my wife. I gave up socialising and playing sport and was reclusive, I always gambled alone due to shame and embarrassment. My self esteem and confidence disappeared and gambling was making me do things a normal, rational person would not do. I basically became a b*m and a waster.

I have a feeling that you will relate to what I have said, Your FOBT addiction has led you to using a company credit card to gain access to cash, I'm sure you would never do that if your mind was thinking clearly. This addiction will take everything from you, not just money. It will destroy relationships, friendships, your career and your mind.

When I hit rock bottom I came on this site, took the advice and stuck to it. My partner has my debit cards, credit cards, and I account for how I spend my cash. She also checks the credit reference agencies to make sure I am not trying to obtain credit behind her back. Believe me willpower alone will not be enough to beat this problem, in the early days of quitting my mood was up and down and at times I was angry with myself for what I had become and for lying to my partner.

I have never done counselling or GA meetings although many people do, so I can't offer any advice on that route. However there is a poster here called 'MIXER' , his advice on how to quit is what I read, all the advice is right there for you. 10 months on and I sleep well, my finances are in order, my confidence is back and my relationship is normal again and built on trust and honesty. I also buy myself clothes, holidays etc, normal things I actually stopped doing as I wanted all my money for the roulette machines, that is what gambling turned me into. I promise if you are committed to quitting gambling, you will feel better about yourself in a few weeks, the first days are the hardest as the guilt of what you have done hits you so hard.

Sorry for rambling but that is an honest opinion of what FOBT's did to me, hope it helps and feel free to ask anything else.

Hi Greenflash.

Everything you said relates to me to a T! its been 8 days now since i last gambled and i still have money! i decided to transfer all the money in my bank accoun to my partners account. This way im only able to get what i need, Fuel,Lunch at work etc.

Still havent heard off hr regarding the credit card incident. I think with this constantley on my mind its took away any urges at all for gambling, i havent had the slightest of urges to gamble since this happened, its really made me wake up and realise how much of a fool i have been.

Its good to hear that you 10 months GF now. it shows me that this addiction can be battled!

do you get any urge to gamble still?

Hi final straw,

I would also advice you look up your local GA meeting and make it part of your recovery. There is no cure for this, its part of our make up, but we can take a good look at ourselves and make important changes to our behaviour. You will get the urges again, but if you change your mindset it will help you in the long run as initial barriers will on do so much.

Do I still get urges to gamble, that is a good question, as I am accountable to my wife for what I spend, I just do not do it, the risk of losing everything that I care about is too great a risk. However when I see how much money I was rapidly saving in my bank account, I admit to having the thought of 'just a few hundred on the roulette won't do any harm and I could have a lucky streak'. Those thoughts pass quickly though and I resist. That is why it is important to have your partner etc supporting you and knowing your finances. I guarantee when your finances get back in order and you see cash in the bank, you will feel an urge occasionally. It's weird how the mind works, thanks to gambling I had nothing, since quitting I have saved £14000 in 10 months, I'm sure you can appreciate how tempting it would be to a gambler to try their luck with that amount sitting in the bank, it is a complex problem so keep your guard up and always be honest with your partner.

Please do not think me saying I have saved £14,000 in 10 months is a boast, I tell you to highlight just how much I was losing on FOBT's. I reckon I was losing £20,000 per year plus racking up £30.000 in credit card debts in 2 years, £35000 per year in a machine. Truly shameful when you see those figures and what I could have done with the money. Remember wilpower alone will not be enough for you to beat this problem, get blocks in place.

An update on my situation.

I am now 30 days gamble free! the longest ive stopped for a very long time, i havent had any urges to gamble either! Also, i was lucky enough to keep my job, That for me is the biggest win i will ever have in my life.

Ive also had 2 counselling sessions which seem to be helping. Just feels good to tell someone about all of the c**P gambling causes.

Next step for me is soring my debt out. Ive been thinking about declaring bankcruptcy, Is this a bad thing to do?

Morning final straw,

Glad to here you are still gf and things are heading in the right direction. I’m also in the infancy of my recovery.

I racked up a hefty bit of debt through my addiction. My partner has been amazing and very supportive.

To deal with the debt I contacted Stepchange. I filled all info in online anonymously. They they give you different situations in order sort he debt.

I spoke to them and they explained the different paths I could take either alone or together with my partner. We decided to enter a debt management plan together. Meaning we could clear the debt in 2 years and 10months.

They are a charity and it costs you nothing to enquire. Also until you want to go ahead with a plan whether that be a dmp, iva or whatever all info you provide is anonymous. They also do not charge you a penny for setting anything up.

Hope this helps,

Sarah

Please be aware that Stepchange will challenge you about your monthly outgoings when you are at your most vulnerable.They have a figure they think you should be spending on food per month which is ridiculous.They obviously don’t think that you should have any fruit or vegetables in your diet.My advice is very simple.Whatever your debts are say you want 5 years to clear them on a DMP.This is a good defence in letting anxiety and guilt push you into settling up a DMP which is good for your creditors but not good for you.You are not in a race to clear your Debts and your Credit Score is just a number.Gambling addiction is about repairing the mess and when you done that you then go and create a bigger mess.If you have a relapse and no company will give you credit then the worst case scenario is your wages and any savings plus selling your iPad and iPhone on gumtree.So my message is clear boys and girls I am Desperate for you all to spend your hard earned money on eating quality food with your five a day plus two for Luck.You know lim right.

Here we are nearly 3 years to the day since i first made this post!

I wont lie and say i haven't gambled since because i have but i haven't gambled like i use to do that's for sure!

Still to this day i am on GamStop and i still transfer my wages into my partners account just so i dont ever get the urge to go on a mad one! Whenever i have gambled its never really been more then £20 and it hasn't been very often, its more for fun then chasing my losses

If you are in a dark place with gambling at the moment just know it can be overcome! id defo get yourself registered with GamStop especially if you do online gambling, also put a block on your bank account so you cant use gambling sites. i had all the restrictions on everything i could to stop me and it worked! I think with the government putting the limit down on the FOBT's  helped me aswell. i used to do £100 spins and these days im sure its a £2 max spin. i can quite happily walk past a bookies now without the dying urge to go in a play those life wrecking machines

Also BTW, i kept my job and was given a final warning. my company were really understanding and helped in everyway they could.