Not sure where to start … No one else really to talk to, no one to confide in and a cluster f of the last 11 months.
I had been gambling free for over 5 years - without any intervention and help - I didn’t use this site and how I wish that I originally did.
Then I had some unexpected bills and with no where to turn went to gambling. The ironic thing is I am in a worse position now than when I started.
I’ve enabled all gambling blocks on all bank cards. I’ve signed up to GAMSTOP. But I’m left with the gigantic task of the future clean up.
Due to the stigma around gambling in my family I can’t confide in family. My girlfriend - the best thing in my life would leave me if she knew.
The feeling of self pity, loathing and hatred that I have got myself is over whelming, but I know I can overcome this - forever.
Why the authorities don’t have better controls in place is beyond me.
For anyone of those people that are reading this and have a gambling problem and have not signed up yet - please recognise it and sign up to stop. Don’t think I will sign up next week or the week after after the next big win - let me tell you something that next big won’t happen. Be kind to yourself - stop now - you’ll thank yourself in the longer run.
Thanks for your post. It struck a chord with me as i was in the same spot 6 months ago. I literally had nothing left to squeeze and kept going until the early hours on the night before I finally broke down in front of my family and my partner.
Please try not to be so hard on yourself, you've taken the first massive steps. Opening up to your loved ones about your addiction is a daunting prospect and I (and im sure most others on here) completely understand and recognise the anxiety you feel about this. I genuinely thought id lose everything and would be kicked out and lose everything, but actually, coming clean about my addiction and the mess i was in financially was the kick up the a**e i needed to stop deluding myself that i could fix it alone. It was painful to begin with but by being completely open it was the first step on my journey because i couldnt hide it any longer and theres now a fair degree of oversight in my life. Although the trust had been broken, it was the first step to starting to repair that although ive still got a long way to go on that one. But obviously you know your situation better than me, the stranger on a forum. So if you don't feel ready to open up to your loved ones then at least keep coming on here and keep talking about it.
Take care of yourself mate and stay strong.
Hi O&U,
Thanks for replying (genuinely means a lot pal). Whilst I haven’t told anyone I’ve come up with a plan to make sure my finances are manageable going forward factoring in the repayments I need to make to clear these debts - step 1.The finances are in a dire state but fixable. This forum is definitely helping and it’s good to know there are people to talk to that can support.
Amazingly since signing up and enabling gambling blocks - I’ve slept better and been more focused at work. I generally feel better. I’ve also felt a sense of relief when I have had emails stating my gambling accounts have been closed.
6 months is a great achievement - well done mate ! it’s good to know that you’re being supported through it.
I have had some down feelings realising what a monumental f’Up I have made and wished i could turn back the clock - but then try and check these - I’m hoping that as the finances start to get better over the coming months - these ease.
Really appreciate the message pal - thank you so much for reaching out !
A
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